Where do I begin?

[runningoutoftime]

I am trying my best to have a good plan in place so I never feel stuck or trapped.

Too late, you had kids with this guy. You are "stuck" with him the rest of your life. You can either choose to try and be good friends with him regardless of whether you stay married to him or not, or be bitter, and angry which just makes everyone's life miserable.

Also, just because you divorce someone doesn't mean you won't end up in another situation feeling "stuck" or "trapped." You could end up feeling "stuck" dating an endless series of guys who have their own baggage and XW's and kids to deal with. You could end up feeling "stuck" dating someone you wanted to marry, but he didn't like your kids and wouldn't marry you because of that. You could end up feeling "stuck," that your kids have to spend half the week, or every other weekend staying with your H and his girlfriend (maybe even the previous OW) who he started living with following the D...

Rather then trying to dump one responsibility or situation, for another that will ultimately have it's own set of problems, why not look for a way to make what you have work?

He stopped the affair because he was caught. In my opinion, he is staying in the marriage because his family would be so angry ans disappointed in him.

Wow! Good for him. There's an awful lot of spouses who don't care if they are caught and have no problem blaming the spouse for the whole thing, and dumping their families and moving on.... I give your husband credit for this...

I am trying to accomplish happiness? I want to share my life with someone who has goals, who works continually to be a better person while enjoying life, who wants to make love to me, wants to talk to me when I get home from work, and someone who keeps his word. I am not looking for anyone or wanting to be divorced to date or remarry. I just know what I have now is not enough for me.

Well.... you could have fooled me. It sounds like you want a guy to save you. Until you can accomplish happiness inside yourself, regardless of other people around you, chances are it will be elusive or fleeting... Also, you have too much baggage for the relationship you describe. You cannot have a healthy relationship carrying the type of baggage you have. You need to work through that first.

I am not sure how I would ever trust him again.

Be so wonderful he'd never want to leave. And be strong enough to deal with someone stupid enough to loose the best thing they ever had... Love someone enough that you can let them go...

Life can always change, people can always change. That's just reality.