A knife twists in my heart hearing about the sadness of your daughter. I've been told to reassure the kids that I'm not going anywhere.. that I will always be there for them, that I love them unconditionally. Your daughter needs reassurance from you.
I've been told I have control over what my spouse does with the kids when he has them.. which is almost nonexistent. Five months into the divorce he had them up for the first and only visit to where he lives where the kids met her and their puppy. I was sick to my stomach, all anger and full of angst.
My ever so grounded brother kept saying.. "You will always be their mother. You are home. You are what is safe. You are birthdays and holidays. You are the one they call when they have problems. You are their mother."
Instead of flipping out over things you have no control over, focus on what is most important.. your little angel. Know the difference between boundaries and anger. Don't worry about being seen as a doormat.. I sure don't perceive you as that.
Just be the best, loving daddy a little girl would ever want and need. And when their hurt kills you inside, remember it's not about how you feel, its about what they need.
*hugshugshugs*
PS.. and when it comes to tooting your horn.. remember.. it's all about embouchure.
