I mentioned before that I had one of my neighbors approach me a couple of months ago with a question. I was checking up on the house and had the boys with me. When S7 and S3 saw the neighborhood kids playing in the culdesac, they insisted on playing with them. So I gave them a little time to do so before we headed back to my apartment. Meanwhile I shot the breeze with a couple of my neighbors. There came a point where I was standing there with one of them and she lowered her voice and said, "So, are you now dating someone?"
Astonished, I told her no, and that started a conversation giving me the opportunity to correct a number of false assumptions. I said nothing about W cheating on me, merely left that up to her to derive that answer for herself. In turn I gathered quite a bit from her, that W had, as I had expected, been playing the victim card. Not too difficult since I was the one who ended up moving out -- all she had to do was allow everyone to think she kicked me out of our home because of my supposed infraction.
While I did not slam my W like she probably deserves, I did leave our neighbor with a lot to think about. I am fairly confident she disseminated the information to the other neighbors, helping to correct the misimpression W has taken advantage of.
Perhaps that is why W went ahead and moved out of the house into an apartment like she did, before we even had a real offer on selling our home -- maybe she was feeling the truth of her culpability was going to be soon found out, making her interaction with the neighbors difficult. I don't know for sure. It doesn't matter now after all.
But the thing that grieves me the most -- and which I must try to find someway to attenuate -- is that W has most definitely made me out to be a monster before teachers and school staff. When she talks with them she lays the blame for any of S7's negative behavior on the fact that I was so disagreeable -- and that necessitated her leaving me. She tries to make it sound like she was forced to end our marriage to save our children from me. And even if she truly and candidly believes in her own mind this to be even half-way true, it is no excuse whatsoever to malign me so before our children's teachers and caretakers.
I know God wants me to forgive her, and that would be and has been extremely difficult -- except these transgressions against me continue even now. Having to forgive my W has become a constant and continual exercise -- it's getting quite old.
