Maybe I should be in piecing part 2?

[Hope4us]

Thanks WDID. Two problems. First, W refuses to see a counselor of any kind. Just doesn't believe in them. Second, I promised her I wouldn't bring any R talk up until she was ready and she seems to have responded to the lack of pressure on that front, so I don't know how I can say anything to her. I just have to let her figure this out on her own.

But I sometimes think, actually more often than not, that we will slowly just keep getting better and better and everything will work out just fine for her, but I'll never get what I need, at least until I find a job back in our hometown and tell her S16 and I are moving without her. And maybe not then. W is not a very compassionate person. She see's everything only how it affects her. And this A is a perfect example. Through this all she's said to me a number of times, "it's not all about you". If there were ever truer words to come out of her mouth, I don't know what they were.

W is a conflict avoider. Always has been. And that's probably how we got where we are in the first place. Her whole family just doesn't deal with tough stuff. They just cut and run because it's easier.

Would she go see the movie? Doubt it. She'd ask what's it about and I'd say and she'd say no. I would bet my retirement on it.

I'm not saying I'm done by a long shot. I see the progress we're making. I KNOW that when she starts this temp assignment I will see DRASTIC improvement in her. I wonder sometimes if us moving and her getting a job that she doesn't like and is a demotion from where she was in her career had a big part in this. I mean, prior to moving she was mentioned as the next admin in our company to move into working for a VP when the next opening occurred. And she would fill in for vacations etc for all the VP's. And when we relocated she was bumped down a salary grade and put in this basement hole of a job and OM shows her some attention and I was so wrapped up in travel and my new assignment that the attention OM showed her filled her with the confidence she needed at the time. And she saw that as "love".

I'm not done. I just get frustrated at times with the pace of this. I know if I want to be married to her that this has to go on her time schedule, not mine. I know I need to just keep showing her I get it and I'm the guy she fell in love with over 24 years ago. I get it. I really do. But I just hope that I can continue to push my needs away and give her what she needs. Isn't that what unconditional love is all about?

Thanks for the props. And by the way, W got up this morning and we're having a good morning right on que. It's amazing what being away from work or getting caught up on sleep does for her. Not sure which one it is or maybe a combo of both.