I'm not surprised by your feelings. You have been working your azz off keeping your marriage. You are in a good place and instead of having to put all your effort into working, you are there. Problem is she is not talking yet. I think it is time to talk to her, h4h. She is your wife. You need to talk to her. Let me make a suggestion. The things you want to talk about will be very difficult. I suggest you talk about those things in a pro-marriage counselor's office. Someone to help both of you deal with it. You have made a list before for me of what you need. Those things are not unreasonable. But, you know how the things you did before that affected your marriage in a bad way and you didn't realize it? She may be in that spot right now. She knows she had the affair, but she may not be sure how to proceed right now. It seems natural to do the things you ask.....but, things are confusing right now. I used to say that,too. If he loved me he would just DO THOSE THINGS I NEED.
Marriage is hard work. I've said this before....the easy thing would be to cut and run and start over with someone new. In fact, you could do that often...just go from relationship to relationship and always have those feel good/great times of both of you appreciating each other and loving each other, doing everything right, not making a commitment, etc. THen, when things are difficult, bail. Many people do it. You are not one of those people. YOu have been with her through all of this....it will get better...it will get great....you will see....
I've said this to many people....but, if you want a little encouragement/uplifting movie, go to Fireproof. You and your wife. It could be a good springboard to talking about things. Maybe go to it, bring tissues, and then go someplace and talk.
