Sophie, If you see your h, be pleasant and kind, but do not tell him anything that you are doing. Treat him as you would a distant friend and nothing more.
Make a list of questions/concerns so that when you see the lawyer, you make the most of your time w/him/her.
As for the PI, they are quite expensive and right now, you need the money for your family and bills. If your h is involved w/ow, the signs will be there. Mlcers can't keep anything secret for very long and you, knowing your h, will be able to tell in time.
Keep the focus on you and your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
