Maybe I should be in piecing part 2?

[Hope4us]

Thanks WDID. I know, patience, patience, but it just so hard.

Warning, Warning, this is going to be a long ramble I'm afraid. Just need to get some things out that I've been feeling lately.

It's going on 2 years since I first became concerned about this "friend" at work. It's been 20 months since it started. It's been about 18 months since I really became seriously concerned. It's been probably 16 months since I think I knew what was going on but didn't want to believe it. It's been over 14 months since I confronted her and she admitted it. And once she admitted it, it was 4 months of watching her disrespect me and our kids in ways I'll never understand. It's been 8 months since she claims NC. If I had to guess, it's been maybe 3-4 months of actual NC.

And like I've said in previous posts, the last 2 or so months have been REALLY GOOD. Last night was another really good night. We went to a little german tavern near us and had a nice meal, a couple drinks, some nice conversation, etc. We come home and have a nice evening at home although we were both tired and crashed pretty early.

Our new mattress/box is being delivered today. After it's delivered we're going to the little Amish town near us to pick up some things. We're going to Gatlinburg, leaving next Thur evening. W is excited about the trip. W is excited about fixing Thanksgiving dinner for our family.

W starts her temporary assignment at work the week of Thanksgiving. She is very excited for that as she feels like she is under appreciated in her current position. And she is. Prior to relocating for my job, W was in line to move up to being an Admin for one of the Senior VP's of our company. Bout as high as you can get in her line of work. And then we move and she's stuck working with 3 people who just don't get it. So now she's doing this temp assignment that will expose her to the higher ups at her Refinery. And she's going to be deeply involved in Company/Union negotiations while she's filling in. And she's EXCITED. She made a comment about how much she's looking forward to it. She's going to miss not being in the same building with EGF, but "oh well" she said.

W is going with me to my work Christmas party. W is excited for her work Christmas party. Last year I went by myself to my Christmas party and she's skipped her party the first two years we were here. A week after that we're having a Christmas open house and inviting people from both her work and my work. Then Christmas.

So, what is all this saying? It's saying I'm tired. I had done such a good job of detaching and then we start making progress and I get my expectations up and now I'm back where I was last year, tired of waiting for her to figure it out. Or if she has figured it out, I'm tired of her not talking to me about anything serious. I'm tired of her mood swings (which aren't as bad as they were even just a month ago). I'm tired of LIMBO land.

I'm just tired.....