He's back, now what?

[Trying2live]

Momma,
I am so sorry you find yourself here. {{{HUGS}}}

But you are in the best place! Your going to find all the support you need here. I am assuming you have read the Divorce Remedy correct?

You may not have been perfect but that does not justify infidelity. So do not blame yourself, he could have gone any other way. Understand too that at times these betraying spouses rewrite the marriage history to justify their actions. I really don't think you should feel overly grateful at this point because he may be still in the affair. Grateful needs to be saved for when the marriage is fully recovered so don't feel bad about that ok.

Please GAL as soon as possible, I started salsa lessons after reading the book. You need to do this ASAP or you won't have the endurance to last the process of trying to recover a marriage. It's good for the betraying spouses to see you still continue to live. It makes them wonder as you should be in bed crying waiting on there crumbs. Go find a GAL activity thats fun and will help get your mind off of things.

Make sure you have self care right now, go get a massage or a pedicure. And then find out what H may have complained about in the past and 180 on those.

Ok down to business. I am happy for you that your H is back home but he should have had some kind of conditions before he was allowed back home. He should have agreed to no contact before this but here you are so now gotta go from here. There is another book I have read along with implementing the techniques from Divorce Remedy. It's called Surviving An Affair by Willard Harley. Can you go get this book right NOW! It give a great step by step for infidelity recover and the conditions for moving back home.

If you think he's not coming home straight, I hate to say it but he probably isn't. I say this not to scare you as it doesn't mean you don't have a chance. I think you do since he moved home. But you need a very strong plan to get the achieved results you want and that's real reconciliation and not false recovery or cake eating.

I understand the how do you act thing. Was there too. But my best advice is be cheerful and confident regardless of what you have done. Mopey and sad is not attractive. Try as best you can to find some laughter together. Laughter is a salve and medicine at times. And most of all be yourself.

Go get Surviving An Affair by Willard Harley and don't let your H see the book. Walk away or betraying H's hate is reading this kind of stuff. This book explains the addictions of infidelity and gives a clear plan and conditions for recovery. My Thread is Trying2Live-New Post #5 if you need anything.