God grant me the patience and the strength...8

[theotherhalf]

Extremely hard. I want to ask what the hell is he here for. He seems so miserable. He won't talk. He's rude. He seems p*ssed. Tonight he did not have to work so was here all night. I went to the basement to start corn burner when I got home. He came down too. Right away it was obvious he was in no mood to talk to me. So I went back upstairs and started supper. D17 went and sat with him. I thought that was good. Good for them to spend some time together. He evenually asked her what mom was doing. So I went back down. But he was just biting my head off.

At one point we talked about the night of my birthday. He said he doesn't remember. I asked him if it is like that everytime he drinks alot. Doesn't remember what he did. He said yea, usually. I said doesn't that bother you. He said no, not really, it's good. I said that you can forget about the real world. He said yea pretty much. I said, "I feel sorry for you TM" He just smiled. I did sit with him some. But I didn't say too much. We just sat and watched the fire. Finally came upstairs. He ate and is sleeping on the couch. I don't get it. And I feel so sad for him. He seems so lost and angry. I wish he would trust me enough to talk to me...

Not saying i can fix anything for him. His mess, he has to figure this out on his own. I just believe that the first step is to let it out and talk about it.