I was unfaithful.......

[SirPrizeMe]

Ahhh, go to Syndey. Do your thing. No use thinking about how you doing your thing might affect your husband. Just focus on you.
What's the plan for Sydney?

[Molly44]

Today my heart feels just heavy.

I fight to keep out of his head. Where is he, what is he doing, constantly thinking the worst. I dont act on it and sometimes I do think oh well.

I know know know that what i was doing beore being needy and available did not work. This is the 180 of that.

Why do our hearts have to be involved. If I could let my head rule, then i would be ok

Am I doing the right thing. I do need reassurance

[SirPrizeMe]

yes, you're doing the right thing. Stay quiet, do your own thing, take care of yourself, find something to smile about. Immerse if you can. (Maybe immerse yourself into a Martini. Oh, wait, maybe not)

[Molly44]

Ha ha thanks SPM but it is 10am in the morning here.

I feel so low ths morning, even tearful. I know I should pull myself out of this.

I jsu want to hear his voice and him to say '" lets do dinner " "sorry " I was wrong "

I dont want my life pinned on to what someone else might say or do.

I cannot articulate what I really feel. It is s asadness like I have never felt.

[Molly44]

By keeping quiet - What is he doing ? does it make him think or will he be kcking his heals up with joy ?

My c says that as we were, i was smoothering and as I back off he has time to lift his head an think - Is this what I really want ?
But the other side of the coin is that for the past 3 years when I have been smoothering , he might of been trying amd now he is relieved that i have stopped.

Today I cant imagine life without him. I wish I could. Possibly tomorrow I will.

[SirPrizeMe]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.
What is he doing ? does it make him think or will he be kcking his heals up with joy ?
What do you think I will say to this?

Ok, I won't leave you in suspense. The answer is: Get. Out. Of. His. Head.

I get that it is hard. By obsessing over what he is doing you are demonstrating that you need some distance from this person. You are too entangled in his life. You need to have your own - something of your own to worry about and do. Get busy.

[Molly44]

It sounds so easy
GOOHH Get out of his head !!!!!!

You know that when I do switch off, it such a relief.

Do you think I should send him this web site ?

In this situation does everyone tend to think the worst ..... or is it just me that sees catastrophe around every corner , as has been suggested.

[Molly44]

I sound so ridiculus when I read back...

Is it healthy for me to think

' Oh he really rrally wants me back but is being stubborn and that he is soooo miserable himself.

Cause if I think like that then I feel beeter and can do things. But am I putting off the inevitable

[SirPrizeMe]

"oh he really wants me and blah blah blah" is you living in his head.

Get out of his head.
Mind your own business.
Find something to do.

In this situation does everyone tend to think the worst ..... or is it just me that sees catastrophe around every corner , as has been suggested.

It's normal when you are lonely and have lost something you treasure, to think about it always. To dwell on it. But it is not helping you. I promise. You are drawn back to it over and over. You need to stop.
Get busy with something else. Find or invent a project for yourself. Take up crochet. Or writing. Or singing. Or take a pottery class. Just get busy.

What ever happened with the counseling? did that help? are you still going? I don't recall you posting anything about any ongoing counseling sessions.

Did you print out my advice to you and give it to your counselor to see what s/he thinks?



hee hee!

Seriously.

[breakaway]

Do you think I should send him this web site ?

Heavens no! Why would you do that?