I was confused by the texting.. was he saying he wants to talk tommorow, as he is going out for a beer tonight with Anthony?
I'm sorry he keeps vacillating and keeping you hanging like this, it must be exhausting for you. I agree with Kerry, it could likely be more confusion on his part, he's been all over the map lately.
Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Try to remain positive. We have all been where you are .... waiting and waiting and hoping. So..... the big talk is tommorow. I just want to tell you that if you need to talk tonight (any time) I will listen. I plan to spend some quality time with D7 but after I put her to bed in and around 9:00 eastern, I will be here and on FB should you need it. Even though things look dark right now and I am sure you have negative thoughts, I have to believe that a woman with so much to offer will find happiness in the not too distant future with or without Dan. Like I told Woog earlier...keep your chin up...you have done and are doing all you can. Unfortunatelly, it is not in our hands. I am here for you.
Thanks, all....FIL will be having some procedure done in Dec. where they put a device in his arm that releases some kind of drug that blocks the testosterone in his body. It keeps the testosterone from feeding the cancer.
We had fun together at the book fair last night, Dan, the kids, and I.
However he was back on the couch as he has been for the seventh night in a row...ever since he got back from California last Friday. He spent the entire night in his clothes,I came out this morning when his alarm went off in our room and he was wearing his golf shirt and jeans from yesterday...
He is so wound up he is going to pop soon. I asked him what was wrong, he said he had gotten 16 hours of sleep in the past 5 days....I said something about the couch not being comfortable he said he didnt' sleep at all the night he came into our room (B.S. by the way, I am sure he slept some...but oh well).
I just said it must suck not to get any sleep and what was he thinking about all the hours he was awake? He said, "I don't know and I don't want to talk about it when I have been awake all night". I just said okay, hope you can figure out what is bothering you and let me know if there is anything I can do."
It is really sinking in "finally" that his problems are HIS problems. I KNOW I haven't done anything 'wrong' here, I love my husband and want to be his lover and friend and helper. And if he has a problem with that, those are things I am not going to stop being to my husband, as long as he is my husband.
If things go south and I EVER get married again, I will take a long, hard look at whether the next guy can accept me as a loving, supportive friend who wants to be intimate (emotionally/spiritually, not just physically)with my husband....
So anyway I don't know if it is work, his mom's cancer, his dad's cancer, the economy, or my annoying habit of being nice to him
But whatever it is, I can't solve it. I had a special little prayer session with God this morning and I gave God my 'Dan project'. I told Him I can't save H, I can't fix H, and I needed to give him over to God b/c it is draining to try to do the impossible...
So my load is lighter this morning, even though I love H and always will, I cannot be his rescuer. It is up to him (and God) now. Of course it always was.........i just thought I could make it different.
Progressing as always I see. Surrendering it to our oh so unbelievable God. Some of that unbelievable just grinds me up to no end some time ..but that is something that we all go through. Offer me up another dose of patience Lord.
As I read this post of your's BobbiJo, it acts as a "rabbit on the rail" for me in it's own little way..if you follow that one. (the mind is an interesting thing ..i sure find mine to be that way). Thanks for being you my sibling in Christ Jesus. I just barely am crossing the finish line on this week. What a struggle it has been. Thanks again for the lift. You may not have known it but you are definetely helping me along my way. Just thought I would let you know. Keep being strong. I need you, especially your prayers to help me get sleep (I got same sort of average as Dan)only he has much more crises in progress. Prayers for me to continue to trust & obey in God's plan for me. Prayers for Paula (darling).
Time to pull up the boot straps and finish out the week as strong as I can. I am trying to think what else I need prayed for. Let you know if more comes to this depleted mind. Luv ya.
You are jumping to conclusions. Kerry is right. He probably has something very small and not at all monumental to say. It's good you are prepared for the worst. But the texts don't say to expect the worst at all. Have a drink. I can visualize him saying something small, and you exploding, and saying you can't take it anymore, you want a divorce. He's not the only one wound tight.
I agree with Sara and Kerry. Hear him out first. There is nothing more he can do to you. You are not afraid of him or the word divorce or a separation. You KNOW you can do it if you have to. Somehow I dont think he will share a decision well thought anyway... Breathing : in....out , continue on your own K
He stayed here last night when I got home from the gathering with some girlfriends. I got here around 7, he had already gotten pizza, then he watched Kung Fu Panda with us.
I asked him if he knew how long the chat would take tomorrow (today now)/when he wanted to chat, b/c I had some other things to do and needed to make plans...
He answered "right now we are not having a chat we are watching a movie with the kids, let's enjoy it".....???
So I did and he did. He sat in the chair with an icepack on his neck for his headache and mentioned being tired...but also laughed a lot at the movie. Nice to hear him laughing, he used to do it a lot more than he does now...
So anyway after the movie I put the kids to bed and came out; H was putting his coat on to leave. I said he looked nice, he shrugged and said, 'it's just what I wore to work', I said, "I know, but you still look nice"...He said he was meeting Anthony at the casino for a couple beers, Anthony had a poker game he was in at 7 and they were meeting up after...
I woke up at 1:45 and looked outside, H's truck was here. So he didn't leave until 9 and was back earlier than I thought he would be. Not that it matters but the shirt he wore out last night is MIA. I find that a bit suspect, where would he have taken it off it not at home? But it is not my concern....
H went to work this morning, called me on the phone from work to ask if we had a rake, he and I are going to rake the yard this afternoon. I am curious how/when he is going to bring up our chat, my goal is to be a good listener when he does. He told me he wanted to chat, so he needs to be the one to lead the conversation. I need to let him do that...
Hey BBJ....hang in there. Do not jump to conclusions...try to stay....dare I say it ....positive. Regardless of the outcome of today's chat (if and when it does happen)...you will be fine. I think you have the right idea to hear him out. At the end of the day, the ball is in their court....it has always been there.
