Thank you for checking in on me. I had a good weekend w/ D. We had fun and she gave me some of her things as presents along w/ some colorings from her Littlest Pet Shop coloring book. Too cute!
As for the gal I'd been seeing, I think you could be right that she did sense my not being ready emotionally and she backed away. It would be nice to know for sure, but regardless, I do need to be far more guarded.
I do agree w/ Kalni and I'll keep going out, but I will make sure not to get too involved as I need to be really ready for the potential disappointment. As of right now, I'm not that emotionally strong to make that leap.
Got a call from XW about allowing D to go through an exercise w/ the local fire department where they simulate smoke from a fire w/ dry ice and teach the kids what to do if there is a real fire. She wanted to make sure I was "on board" and "ok" w/ signing her up - which I was.
She also told me about calling on the pensions and we discussed her running things by me like signing up D for extra curricular activities. I brought this up b/c D told me XW and her BF had said she was going to take karate lessons and I wanted to make sure XW included me in these decisions first. I also cleared the air on my having 1st option to coach D instead of BF which XW had no issue with.
I then told her of my family flying me up for Thanksgiving and both D and I up on Christmas day. XW got really angry when I said "I'll just have you drop D off at the airport instead of the house at 10 am on Christmas day so we can catch our flight."
XW had asked for and I had granted her permission to have D until noon on Christmas Day so they wouldn't have to rush and I had said it was ok. I really didn't remember that at all and my mother has purchased us non-refundable tickets for an 11:30 flight.
So, XW is bent out of shape and she may try to make my life miserable over the loss of two hours, but in a way, I do feel bad for not checking w/ her before I authorized purchasing the tickets. It was an honest mistake and I'm no longer beating myself up over it, but I really wish things weren't this difficult.
Whenever XW doesn't get her way, she is impossible to work with. She even started to say "I asked for the two extra hours and agreed to give you extended time w/ D in return." As if D's Christmas break, which we legally split, is hers to "give" to me.
She also seems to forget that I waived my having D on New Years to let her go back to Indiana to see her family. It is irritating on one hand that I still get this from her and depressing on the other that she chooses to have things be like this.
Oh, well. If she tries to say no, I can alwasy "change my mind" about New Years as retaliation. Not sure I'll do that, but it is a card I could play, I guess.
So, that's my latest report. I'll talk to you all later.
Oh, well. If she tries to say no, I can alwasy "change my mind" about New Years as retaliation. Not sure I'll do that, but it is a card I could play, I guess.
As tempting as it may be, you won't do it. That's not the kind of person you want to be.
Well, here are the updates and you won't be shocked, but XW is being difficult.
Here is her e-mail to me:
Quote:
I want to point out a couple of things after our conversation last night.
First, according to the legal documents, you are supposed to discuss travelling outside of the state with Grace with me BEFORE making your arrangements. You did not do that. You made arrangements and then told me what you were doing. Not acceptable. I made sure to discuss our travel plans to Indiana with you several times AND I obtained your permission to travel BEFORE I purchased airfare.
Second, you have had the calendar of dates and times for visitation since the second week in October. In addition, I discussed Christmas day with you at least twice and talked about the noon exchange. You agreed to it verbally and there is an implied agreement when you didn't say anything about the dates and times of the exchanges as listed in the calendar. Now you are telling me I have to bring Grace to the airport at 10am on Christmas day in order for you to make your flight. That cuts into my Christmas morning time with Grace. Not acceptable. It is not my fault you didn't look at the calendar -- it is yours.
...and my reply was:
Quote:
I agree I should have checked w/you. I made assumptions that I should not have done. We had discussed loosely about my going to Washington and since I had 10 am stuck in my head, I just assumed you'd be ok w/ meeting me at the airport at 10 instead of at the house.
This was not done with any malice or ill intent toward you. It is an honest mistake. I simply had forgotten about noon on Christmas. When did we have this conversation? Is it in an e-mail or a text anywhere? I just don't recall it. I'm not denying it took place, but I just don't remember it taking place.
So, what are you saying? The flight is booked and paid for. It is non-refundable. Are you saying you are not willing to meet me at the airport at 10 on Christmas morning? If so, my family is out $550 and we won't be travelling to Washington. I need to know on this so I can tell my family.
Finally, please remember that I've allowed you to have Grace on New Years Day instead of keeping her w/me (as was legally agreed to in the court documents) so you two could to travel to Indiana. You are getting Grace for all of Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Morning, New Years' Eve and New Years' Day this year. All I'm asking for in return is to have Grace at 10 am on Christmas morning so we can go to Seattle to see my family.
The holiday season this year is heavily slanted in your favor and if we can't come to an agreement on this, then I think we should both just stick to our original plans that you laid out and I'll have her on Christmas Day as well as on New Years' Day this year. That way neither of us will be forced to compromise and maybe you can use your tickets to see your family at another time and I can do the same to see mine.
If we are at an impassse, then we need to take this case to a family arbitrator, as mandated in the court documents, to settle this disagreement. We would need to do this immediately as the outcome may affect both of our holiday plans.
So, I need to know where to go from here on this as it is time sensitive.
Now I wait and see where it goes from here. If needed, I'll end up cancelling our trip, but I won't be pleased that she's willing to kill our trip b/c of two hours when I made an honest mistake.
