It's funny, I was over in "piecing" checking on a friend and it sort of hit me. A little tiny wave of sadness passed over me that I didn't even get a chance to try piecing my marriage together. After 17 years of marriage and 21 years together she was simply done.
I was never mean, ugly, unfaithful, or unsupportive. I never abused her verbally or physically. I provided a good home and everything she needed. I am a good father. I guess it wasn't enough.
The sadness is past for the moment, but I thought I'd note it here. More for myself than for you all. But, I guess these boards are meant for that afterall.
"Life brings us joys and sorrows alike. It is what a man does with them - not what they do to him - that is the true test of his mettle."
I was never mean, ugly, unfaithful, or unsupportive. I never abused her verbally or physically. I provided a good home and everything she needed. I am a good father. I guess it wasn't enough.
I feel the same about myself. Has your XW expressed regret or an apology like mine? Maybe not now, but if the thing with Nick does not last, she may eventually.
It's probably more about what she did not have or could not give you. Apart from the romance, friendship, providing, etc. one very important component of marriage is commitment and faithfulness. She lacked at least those character traits.
Dont be surprised with the rare chance of a long term relationship working out with Nick. My mom had an affair over 30 years ago that ended my parents marriage and she has been married to the affair partner ever since.
Fb2 - in retrospect, is it possible to detect beforehand that someone lacks commitment and faithfulness?
Woog, I just got in....I hear what you are saying. I got the shot at piecing or at least I thought I did. Let's be brutally honest here....what are the chances of success considering the faithfullness issue hanging over us? It's hard to comprehend...I am in the same boat as you are regarding how I treated W. I ask myself the same question you do. I still can not come up with an answer other than that when you fall for someone your brain is not functioning on all cylinders. I know that is oversimplifying but I can not come up with anything better right now.
As far as the test goes...I am failing miserably right now but this is not a sprint. We will come out on top in the end...maybe slightly bruised but much stronger and better....
Chin up amigo...I still believe that nice guys will eventually prevail. We have to.
