I would have done the same as you - if for no other reason than courtesy. She contacted you. I look at it the same as if she called and you answered the phone.
Like wdid said, what is happening with her really doesn't matter - it is what is going on with you that counts.
Keep it up. Glad things are heading in the right direction for you.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Yeah, I meant to say what you and HER are doing is good...not me. Typo.
You trying to get us in trouble with the Mod's WDID
I got a reply from OMW. She has proof that OM has had another GF since late Spring and probably before. He hasn't been home to see his kids since May. He's coming home for the 3 days before Thanksgiving and Christmas but is heading out Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve's so he can spend the holiday with his new GF.
Nice Huh?
Ok, so I'm glad she emailed. I almost replied to her that he had a GF long before Spring, but I didn't think it'd accomplish anything. But it does feel good for me. If he's got a GF now, I can't see a reason to be in contact with my W. Not that he might not still IM her at work once in a while, and I know he's a lier, but I can't see his new GF liking him talking too much to an old affair partner.
So get this. W IM's me first thing this morning. She asks if I need to come up to the Refinery this morning for anything? I said I did have some work that I COULD do there, and Why? She replied that she really had a hankering for a cup of cappacino (or how ever you spell that word) and if I came up, would I bring her one.
Perfect opportunity to show her what a nice guy I am
So I went up, got her coffee and sat down in her office for a bit. And she was talking and talking. At one point, after about 15 minutes, I said "ok, I need to get going" and she said "you don't have to be in a hurry" so I sat there a while longer and we just talked. And it was GOOD. I started to get up to leave and she said, "do you want to go out with me while I smoke"? So I did. After her smoke, I said, "well, I better get going and she said "you can come back in for a bit if you want". So I did. It was like she didn't want me to leave.
It's terribly hard to not get your expectations up, but man, things sure seem to be looking like she's figuring it out.
Talk to everyone soon.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
She is. You can get your hopes up. Will there be hard times yet? Yup. But, she's there. I see it. Give her lots of attention now, hope. You're moving to everyday happiness, not just vacation happiness. I'm so happy for you guys!
One more thing. About a month ago, W got a new cell phone. The cell provider couldn't transfer her contacts over to her new phone for some reason, so W did it herself.
Well, this morning, I just had to know, so I looked at her phone. Not her TM's or anything, I just needed to look at her contacts to see if when she got the new phone she put the lawyer she'd talked to in her new phone. And she did.
So someone help me out. Why would she put a lawyer's number in her contact list when if she really needed to talk to him she could look it up online or in the phone book? I've looked at the cell phone records monthly for the last year and she only called this lawyer once which was last fall when OM was telling her he was going to D his wife so she could divorce me and they could be together. She hasn't mentioned D since April. Things have been going great for 2-3 months. If things are going great and she's talking to me about the future with us and making comments about putting her rings back on etc, why would she need to put that lawyers phone number in her new phone?
Is it her way of saying to me, "if you're looking at my phone you'll see that I still haven't made up my mind so don't think everything is peachy"? Or something like that?
Comments/opinions?
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
"if you're looking at my phone you'll see that I still haven't made up my mind so don't think everything is peachy"? Or something like that?
I don't know if that is her stated purpose for keeping a L contact number in her cell phone; but you'd be wise to keep the fact that you've seen that contact to yourself.
Mattress/box tomorrow. Frame 7-10 weeks. I told W today that I was setting up the mattress/box without the frame. She was kind of puzzled by that and made some comment about it being stupid to set the bed up on the floor before the frame comes. So I don't know if she's still on the fence about sleeping in bed with me or what. But I don't care. I'm setting the bed up.
MC, oh, don't worry, I'd never mention it to her. I just feel like it's almost her way of saying to herself, if things go back to the way they were I still can call the lawyer. I still contend that things weren't THAT bad, but I'll accept that she had/has issues that she's not liked and it seems that the things she's complained about that I've changed she's noticed but she's not ready to trust that they're permanent so she's still waiting. I just hope she doesn't wait too long. Because even as good as things are going, last night on the drive to pick up S20 I realized just how tired I am of the fight. Without a few simple words from her I can see myself getting to the point where I'm done.
And I hope we don't get there.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
Nope...stop it...negative talk. I remembered when I got married I thought divorce would NEVER be an option. Then, I made the biggest mistake of my life and all of the sudden divorce was an option every day. Every thing he'd do I'd think "I can't live like this. I'm done." We are FINALLY at a place where I told him "I'm not going anywhere." I hate that I ever got to the place of thinking I would leave.
I'm thinking about the phone thing. I could see myself doing that. Not really thinking about it too much. Maybe thinking subconsciously...it's a good lawyer just in case, you never know. He might give up on me, he might go back to the way he was....you just never know.
You guys are in a great place. I can see why you'd be concerned/ticked about seeing that. But, I wouldn't worry about this. You can call your lawyer at any time, too. She knows this. You are on fresh grass right now.........patience, hope, patience.
