trying to be patient and strong 8

[Sugar and Spice]

I'm a little worried about my glass-chewing L though. She sends nasty emails and letters to H's L, she's equal-opportunity rude to everyone I think. Do you think I should say something to her Monday reminding her I have to have an R with him for the next 9 years so would appreciate a fairly civil tone if possible? It's tough b/c I know my H is kind of the same personality as my L so don't want her to go too soft, but I don't think that's gonna be a problem! Any thoughts on this???? Karen

Karen, its possible that she is taking this route because she sees so clearly through the BS that H and his L are trying to feed to the court and its her way of letting them know shes not fooled and means business.

But I will say that a very similar thought has played in my mind for some time now. Since the bomb I have recognized that my W had been pulling back from me mentally, emotionally and spiritually for quite some time prior, and that was the real sub-conscious source to my own depression. I have been thinking that maybe my depression was, if not an intentional outcome, then a welcome side-effect to her actions. In fact, the more paranoid thought is that she would have welcomed me becoming so deeply depressed that I would take myself out of the picture for her, through a nervous breakdown ...or worse.

But like you said, surely no one could be like that, right?

Karen and NoCode, I have had the same realizations about how things were going prior to the bomb and H leaving. I realize that he had been pulling back and gaslighting for A LOT longer than I was originally ready to recognize. I think that there was a part of him that wanted to keep me fat, depressed and unhappy so I wouldn't/couldn't leave. I do see now how he created situations in order to get his way or have an excuse to do what he wanted. I see it for what it is now and it doesn't work as well.

Its sad to see the peole we love(d) turn into something so ugly and mean.

Take care Karen, your H is a fool. He wouldn't know what to do with the kids if he got custody. DAFT...