It seems when I leave my wife alone an dont call her for a day she calls me n sounds nice to me.I wish i would know what goes on in her head. She told me I am very inpatient why cant I just find myself right now and give her time. Any advice
Impatience is going to wreck any chance you have. Give her TIME. You can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, so if she needs time, give it to her.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
She told me I am very inpatient why cant I just find myself right now and give her time.
Her statement couldn't be any clearer as to what you need to do at this time.
That is why you are here, to find YOURSELF. DB'ing will accomplish exactly what she told you.
Re-read what she told you. My W told me the exact same thing; I didn't listen at first either. But she is telling you exactly what you need to do; it's your only shot at saving your M.
I understand its the only shot I have. How can I work on my patience and not feel as I am only a option to her. I know she is ver sincere right now,but I feel very lonely and can not understand why would she after 15 yrs of marriage not come home if its over between them two. I wish I could just get over this and stop hurting and start living again. My life is in soooo much pain. Yes I am lots of steps closer to a reunification than b4,just afraid she gets used to this and just want me to hang around because she cant let go of me right now. I do appreciate all the help and I reread it and now see its all I can do anyway unless I divorce her. Any good books out there on patience?
We actually spend some time together on Sunday watching Amazing Race and a movie. She left after the movie and went to her place.She is still very reluctant and makes sure i understand we seperated. I wish I could somehow get smart with all this. Is she confused right now and I need to sit back and let her figure it out or what do I do?Any help
Wife and I had lunch the other day and she actually opened up a little bit. telling me: 1)I am hurting too,you just dont see it 2)Why do you say you dont want to be an option all I do is go to work and come home 3)I never said I dont need you no more everyone thinks I am so strong and thinks I can handle everything,sometimes I need help too. 4)If you only knew I listened very carefull and didnt try to interrupt her,since she never opene up. We had to cut it short since she went back to work but I am trying to figure out what she is telling me dont want to push any issues. What should I do now,I hope anyone has any advise out there. I think she is depressed since she told me to listen to a song on a CD during the lunch(that is how she fells) and on my way back to work I listened to it and it was a song about how she almost let go but jesus saved her from the devil. Any advice please,what is my next move?
LISTEN to her, and VALIDATE, but do not RESCUE. In my opinion, she's looking for you to RESCUE her, from her pain, but her pain of course is the natural consequences of her poor decisions of late.
Never rescue an adulterer from the consequences of their adultery.
So what do I do? How do I do that?Just seems I always make a wrong move when my wife opens up a little so now I am on my toes making sure I dont break anything. I think you are right I can definetly see the pain in her eyes,do I wait till she over the pain,she keeps telling me to have patience but not saying she coming home or want to come home so thats why I am confused
