Things my heart still needs to know... (#47)

[sandycay]

Kalni,

I dont' post much but have kept up with your thread for the last couple of months. I don't know why but I guess like everyone else, I just gravitate towards certain situations here. Anyways, your H is even confusing me

On one hand, maybe he thinks you meant to go really slow

On the other hand he thinks you might be done so doesn't want to "end up with egg on his face"

Or he really is in over his head at work and really stuck at what is going on. Does he need to do all this to make ends meet for his family, because if he does it's not going to change. Ours became a work (time away) issue too. When H started coming back one of my stipulations was that one of his jobs had to change. They both involve travel. Now, I didn't put a time line on it but after about 3 months of seeing nothing done to correct it I restated the stipulation to him and said I am really serious about this one.

H felt like (we can't do without the money) he can't just up and quit as he was just assigned a new rank so that put an additional time limit to his commitment. I just said your smart enough to find a way to change it. If we have to live in a smaller home, move, whatever it takes I am willing to do it to have that change. Now, that he knew I was "all in" and he didn't want to "downsize" the lifestyle he got busy looking for something closer to home. It's still in the works but at least I see the effort that he is making..... I am saying this because it's sometimes difficult to make big life changes over night. It took him 4-5 months before he really put any effort into this change. Jobs provide security for him and for his family so to jockey around with that I think is hard for a man. Of course, I am not a man so I am sure I have more "feelings" about that then men. Maybe some men here can give some perspective to their relationship to work and their relationship (obligation)to their family. I think it's much different for the men. Especially when they are successful at work.