The absolute disrespect, lack of any trust, and any thoughts of any honesty from them turns me into a very bitter WAH. I want nothing more then to punish her for what she is doing to me and our family.
Carp - I'm in the same boat my friend. Just letting you know what I'm doing and see if it might work for you.
Bitterness, resentment, anger and hate. I had feelings to try on control her again and last out in anger. I realized those feelings and supressed them. At that point, I realized I had to go into self preservation mode to avoid her picking fights.
I started the HEALS program and it helps. Sounds hokey at the begining but it helps you let go. Also, if you get some info on codependancy, it also helps let go and detach. Her probs are her probs. Focus on you and set the proper bounderies.
