Going thru all this will suck today....because I am sick!! I am up and dressed....my head feels like a bowling ball....my chest hurts....nose stuffed and running. As a union guy no work = no $! A doulbe whammy!!
Today word......boogers!!
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
Living with a spouse still in an affair....and proceeding with a divorce....is absolutely the most painful experience ever. Her admitted "love" between them....and her desire to have full custody and everything she "deserves" wears a person down........
The absolute disrespect, lack of any trust, and any thoughts of any honesty from them turns me into a very bitter WAH. I want nothing more then to punish her for what she is doing to me and our family.
Last edited by carpenter54; 11/14/0804:53 AM.
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
{{{{{Carpenter}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry..it is an unimaginable feeling isn't it??
I pray that you have major peace despite this horrible sitch because the bitterness and anger doesn't hurt your spouse, it ends up hurting you in the end and I don't want to see that happen to you my friend!
Someone posted this on another thread, but I am posting it for you
Living with a spouse still in an affair....and proceeding with a divorce....is absolutely the most painful experience ever. Her admitted "love" between them....and her desire to have full custody and everything she "deserves" wears a person down........
The absolute disrespect, lack of any trust, and any thoughts of any honesty from them turns me into a very bitter WAH. I want nothing more then to punish her for what she is doing to me and our family.
I am in pretty much the same boat. A W in an affair. Lied about it for 5 months. Her family supports her (babysits while she goes out with him) all while telling me there is no one else.
Most friends, co-workers, & family tell me she isn't doing anything wrong... I should just move on and be happy.
I appreciated that link. That is good advice... revenge, bitterness, and anger gets us no where fast. It is hard, but we have to forgive and take the high road although it isn't fair.
I feel for ya c54. Hang in there. We will make it.
Making..yeah..it is totally not fair..not fair at all..but you are right..thinking and dwelling on the unfairness of it all gets us nowhere really fast
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Thx Tawnya and makingchanges I have forgivin my W and am trying to let her go. When we go to MC I am reminded of their "love" for each other by my Ws own mouth. Last night was D9s school play....was nice to be together as a family...went to dinner afterwords...as a family....me and the kids get dropped off at home so W can go shopping for a wedding tonite....a work wedding...OM will be there...OMs GF will not. I will have peace at home with my kids at least.....looking at them while all off this is happening is the MOST painful......W says mommy just doesn't love daddy anymore....but I know the truth. A custody battle will definitely be coming up....the vemon that comes from my Ws mouth whenever this is even mentioned makes me sick......I have learned to not even talk AT ALL about it. DBing is working for me.....I just need this to end!!!!
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
The absolute disrespect, lack of any trust, and any thoughts of any honesty from them turns me into a very bitter WAH. I want nothing more then to punish her for what she is doing to me and our family.
Carp - I'm in the same boat my friend. Just letting you know what I'm doing and see if it might work for you.
Bitterness, resentment, anger and hate. I had feelings to try on control her again and last out in anger. I realized those feelings and supressed them. At that point, I realized I had to go into self preservation mode to avoid her picking fights.
I started the HEALS program and it helps. Sounds hokey at the begining but it helps you let go. Also, if you get some info on codependancy, it also helps let go and detach. Her probs are her probs. Focus on you and set the proper bounderies.
A in Ohio..that's a tough line tho isn't it? Focusing on you and letting his/her probs be their problems, setting boundaries, all the while, in some way anyway, our spouses make us feel it is our problem/fault as well...
Interesting these tightropes we are all walking
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
After a day of every emotion under the sun.....my evening with my ladies was what I needed!
W was home for a bit before we left for dinner....not much said... Me and the girls went out for dinner and grabbed some videos and spent the evening chilling. W has not come home as of yet....she is supposed to go straight to work for a few hours. Yes I think about her actions....I don't dwell on them...I certainly know I can't change them...D12 asked me last night when mom was gonna be home? I answered simply...I don't know. ...I don't think she is.
Todays list of event.... Cut down loft bed for D9.....it makes me laugh she HAD to have it but now it's to tall. Laundry and chores.....considering burning all dirty laundry!! I made a chore list a month or so ago....kids grumbled at first....$10 a week is a good motivater! Kids wanna go shopping....this is a 180 I have been working on for awhile...really makes W mad....kids love it so it is a positve in my book! Tonite I have a hotel party to go to! Dispatcher at work is throwing it...she is newly 21. It's real close to home...I have a couple of friends closer to my age going.....us oldies are gonna show the "kids" how we used to do it!!
Tawnya....I have been keeping up on your witch A....yours to Makingchanges....gonna have to read up
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
