SD....you lucked out. You have Jeff here. I agree with all he says:
-you MUST feel the pain
-you MUST grieve the loss
-you MUST accept that you have no control over her choice to depart

By grieving and accepting the loss, you will face SEVERE pain, but, in so doing, it will be the first step in the healing process. I think I can speak for Jeff and others here that, once you make the choice to stop fixing and let go of the rope, you begin to feel better. It may take time and it make not be easy, but, it will lift a great weight from your chest.

The key..is how to handle and process those painful emotions as you embrace them.

Run.
Workout.
Spend time with friends.
Vent here.
Check out websites to help with GAL (eg, meetup.com)

You'll be OK SD. Expect rollercoasters. They happen..even to 'vets' like Jeff and I.

Hang tough.
FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;