Emailed husband, asked him if he'd like me to cook lasagna for our weekend together this weekend. I'm not sure if we are having a weekend or not, but he said, "I'll keep that in mind, that sounds great."
In my life...I got a call back from the Women's shelter in my town. I applied to volunteer my massage skills a year ago and I have an interview tommorow after work.
Last phone conversation we had on Sunday...he said he really liked the email that I sent him, thanking and praising him for calling me every other day. I said in the email that his calling made me feel special and important to him.
He thanked me for the email.
I haven't heard from him since.
A part of me is a bit anxious, but I keep reminding myself that this is part of the cycle. He's probably assimilating the huge shifts our relationship has undergone. I'll respect his need for space.
Oh, and I've decided I don't want him reading my posts.
I try so often to portray a strong independent person. I'm hoping that after awhile, I'll BE strong and independent. The 'ol fake it till you make it philosophy!
In any case, I'd hate for him to see how often I get anxious!
I guess, in closing, the biggest change I've tried to make is to accept the fact that my h. is not under my control...that dropping expectations and ASSumptions, dropping the notion of SHOULD when it comes to him (he should be doing this, etc) that combined with appreciation and gratitude for his presence in my life...well, that's been a winning combo.
First off, list 2 or 3 things you are hoping to change or improve about your marriage. The questions below might help you figure this out!
Goal Setting Rule #1 -
"Think about what you want, not what's missing"
What parts of your relationship do you want more of?
What are the times in your marriage that you'd like to "re-create"?
What are some new things that you'd like to see happen?
"When my spouse stops doing ___________, what will s/he be doing?"
I'd like my husband to call me every other day.
I'd like him to take more baby steps towards moving in with me.
That might include:
Telling his father that he's moving in with me.
Telling any/all his brothers.
Discussing budget with me to figure out how much we can afford to pay in rent.
Looking over available places to rent and telling me about it.
Giving his roomates notice.
Going on job interviews. (no calls yet!)
