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<< Well, it's the first time I feel excited about something. Mostly because I think the "truth" will shine and I will know if this can work or not...
K, See, we're all so excited too! You are as bright as the truth so I think once you are committed you can make it work, cheating or not.

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Kalniiiiiii!!!

great news that you are going to therapy together!!!!!

what your H said about you doing the same old thing of not telling him how you were feeling...even though you're right, nothing is the same anymore--it sounds like he just made a neon sign suggesting a good 180 for you to do.

love,
T

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You know K, I had the same thought when I read that. You are going to need to be more transparent with him than you ever have before. Show him and tell him your true feelings even if they might not be so nice. Be honest above all else.


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Kalni Offline OP
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Hi all,
girls,I was not upset over him so how could I tell him that I was upset over him? I am pretty open and honest with him.

Like today, after we talked on the phone about the weekend's schedule and he told me he is picking up the kids in the morning bringing them back late Sunday afternoon, not allowing any time slot for us as a couple I sent him an email stating I dont understand what we are doing and how. That what he says he wants and what he does dont match. That since I dont understand I get frustrated. And that I need to know from him what he thinks we are doing and that I am out of patience and that I cant live on "promises" of a future happy life...
K


Me&H:42
S11&D10
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Reconc.November 2009
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K,

Good for you for communicating your feelings with H. In your message to him, did you specifically say something about not spending any time this weekend together? Just wondered because I hear DAMs can be slow to understand.... ;\)


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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K,

Can you get a sitter for a few hours on Saturday night so you two can go out together for a while? Surprise him with it? You might have to give him an example of what you are talking about in making time for each other without really "taking the lead". Show him how you need to be treated then watch for him to follow through.


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
K
Kalni Offline OP
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No Bbj, I didnt. I said "how come you dont try to make some time for us as a couple?". Maybe I should have explained myself more?
Well, I know that men in general are all DAMs but, dear Lord, I cant be more to the point and clear. I already feel bad for repeating myself...

In the meantime, until H finds a way to ...approach me, I am going out tonight and tomorrow night with friends and I think I will be drinking...
K


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
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Kalni Offline OP
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mish,
he already said he could leave early work "one Friday night so we could go out for dinner". Tonight is Friday and I kept it open for him until a couple of hours ago. Tomorrow he is working (normally doesnt) and the kids will be sleeping at his sister's, so I cant do that, he will finish after midnight...
K

I am seriously thinking of giving him FGs number and have him call FG and tell him he is a famous therapist that wants to talk to him over our sitch since he is been my "therapist". Maybe FG can knock some sense in his head...

Last edited by Kalni; 11/14/08 03:08 PM.

Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 9,762
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Good grief.....king of DAM's strikes again!

Have fun with your girlfriends Maria! You deserve it!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 6,948
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Wow, do I wish I lived in Greece, I would SO go out with you tonight and have some Jack....

If you specifically mentioned him making time for the two of you as a couple, that should be specific enough. It is amazing to me still how dense they can be....


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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