wife is in another state with her mom visiting family this week. happens to be another guy there she met about 5 years ago, nothing physical, but a lot of pillow talk through email.
anyway, when we got together, she basically chose me over him, and they haven't talked for 3 years. she told me tonight that she texted him, and they are going to meet up this week. she hasn't seen him for 3 years, told me I shouldn't feel threatened, I have nothing to worry about (she said "I promise") and said she is content with not wanting a relationship with him. I know she wants to work on things but my wife is of the type where she craves attention likes its going out of style. I don't know if this guy is married or what, but my wife is, and she has a child from me, and another on the way from someone else......I don't know how much of this story she is going to tell the guy (she isn't really showing much yet)
how do I handle this ? I can't stop her from seeing an old friend.
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
when I say she chose me over him, somehow even though they live 2000 miles apart, they were going to get together in a relationship sense. that's when her and I got together and got engaged.
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
I truly believe my wife wants to work it out with me, but I just have that feeling that you can't shake. I have read emails between the two of them from May of 2005 (we got together in December of 2005) and they were like two lovesick puppies. That was the last time they talked until yesterday. I'm not trying to make excuses for her actions, but if I hadn't seen that person in years and I went to their home state, I suppose I would want to see that person, at least to say hi and visit. Nothing physical ever happened between them. Just worried it will now.
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
If it is purely innocent, then you should be able to come along. I can't remember your whole story, but if you two are working it out...then, she must have promised NC with OM and transparency? She must be doing what it takes to feel better? One, would be to include you on this meeting.
She is 2000 miles away on vacation, so I can't go or be there. Secondly, this man isn't the one that got her pregnant and whom she had the affair with. She is not having contact with him.
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
Ok, well, she DID tell you. She didn't keep it a secret. She is 2000 miles away. She could have easily not told you. How would you know? So, I would tell her your concerns. Be up front and loving and she should understand. Ask her for some things she could do to help you feel more comfortable about it. Maybe calling you when she is with him and introducing you to him or something. It's up to you. I understand how you could feel threatened here. You are not "off base".
well, I talked to my wife again about how I felt, and she reassured me nothing was going to happen. I'm assuming they hung out last night as planned....I looked at her phone records and saw they exchanged quite a few text after they supposedly hung out.....makes me worry.....I texted her and got no replies, and there were text between them timestamped after that. A friend at work asked me if I forgave her for what she did with the affair and I said yes, and he shot back with 'no you don't because then you'd trust her'
A valid point. I'm a nervous wreck....don't know when we'll talk today or how to ask if they hung out
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
