One thing that my husband said over the weekend was that he didn't want to be married.
He said he doesn't want to be responsible to anyone, not obligated to call and say where he is, not to have to explain what he's doing.
He said in his mind, that's what marriage means.
I explained that our marriage will be how WE decide it.
So, he's told me that he has an important need to be independent and not tell me where he is or what he's doing.
At this point in my journey, I can trust that he's not out doing harm to me or to our relationship. He just needs to feel that he's his own person.
After living with my parents, I can understand the need for self-direction.
The biggest obstacle I see for me, is to not wait on him, but do go do my own thing. Previously he'd be off doing his own thing, and I'd wait to do my thing until I knew what his plans were.
Perhaps the best way I can deal with this is to ask him to agree to a date night each week. That way, we have a running plan that's set, and he can do whatever he needs to do to feel independent the rest of the time.
