Thanks for dropping by! I appreciate your encouragement and cheerleading!
I'm very excited about the progress we are making. I need to remind myself, thanks to KAW, to let him lead this dance. I feel the need to refocus on myself once more. What can I do to make myself happy today.
Watch the latest epidsode of Dead Zone...ooo, I have a crush on Anthony Michael Hall!
PnT: Your last consideration about not foergetting about being ourselves happy, doing things that can bring us happiness idenpendt of h moves, is so important...!!... why are we so dependant of them to feel more or less happy...?!!... this is a big work we need to apply and learn.... andrea
One thing that my husband said over the weekend was that he didn't want to be married.
He said he doesn't want to be responsible to anyone, not obligated to call and say where he is, not to have to explain what he's doing.
He said in his mind, that's what marriage means.
I explained that our marriage will be how WE decide it.
So, he's told me that he has an important need to be independent and not tell me where he is or what he's doing.
At this point in my journey, I can trust that he's not out doing harm to me or to our relationship. He just needs to feel that he's his own person.
After living with my parents, I can understand the need for self-direction.
The biggest obstacle I see for me, is to not wait on him, but do go do my own thing. Previously he'd be off doing his own thing, and I'd wait to do my thing until I knew what his plans were.
Perhaps the best way I can deal with this is to ask him to agree to a date night each week. That way, we have a running plan that's set, and he can do whatever he needs to do to feel independent the rest of the time.
Quote: Perhaps the best way I can deal with this is to ask him to agree to a date night each week. That way, we have a running plan that's set, and he can do whatever he needs to do to feel independent the rest of the time.
Whacha think? Anyone have suggestions?
that's an excellent idea...one I've presented to my h who sounded a tad similar when he first decided he might like to "try"...funny though he seems to be to busy to schedule one night with me...and now wonder why my last post sounds like it does.
I like you often would wait and wait for h to make time for "us"...got to be a tad pathetic...during our seperation I even told him...let's set certain time asside for "us" a "date" night..time that I know we will spend together...then the rest of the time you can do as you please and I can do as I please (within reason of course) that way I wouldn't be like a puppy at his feet waiting to get pet...I would know when it was comming and could look forward to it.
If you can get him to agree to scheduled time that would be great!!
Congratulations. Your H said so many good things. You must be so happy and relieved.
The date night idea is great. My W and I have implemented the same plan, mainly so that we don't let life get too hectic and overwhelm us to the point where we never make each other a priority.
Strange and cruel joke your H's roommates pulled. How old are they, 12? Anyway, gotta love your H's reaction to that.
and that snooping auto-control was great too...!!... Receive a big hug from me...
