Exciting development. I'm thrilled for you. Remember to keep your expectations in check.
Be the cool new grrrlllfriend he can't believe would go out with him. Be confident, alluring and relaxed. Incense? Peppermints? (tee hee).
Thanks for reminding me (everyone) that and jumping to conclusions makes U an ass, not to mention a basketcase.
I will rise above it every chance I get.
Only one more teensy bit of advice I'll relay -- my guy once told me that men don't want MORE from a woman, they want LESS -- he meant less talk and less fuss.
Hey, you could get pointers from Elimidate -- but that seems to be all about cleavage.
"Most people can survive infidelity and can, in fact, make their marriage stronger once they work through the issues infidelity has brought into their lives."
Has your opinion about the chances of a marriage surviving through infidelity changed from what you may have thought before it happened to you? Possibly went from "no way", to "maybe"?
I remember when I was dating my husband that I believed if he ever cheated on me, then it was over. There was an ex-girlfriend in the mix and the whole thing was a mess.
Well, he married me and THEN told me he'd cheated.
I felt like he'd tricked me into marrying him.
Sigh.
Lots of bad feelings around that issue.
But now with the seperation, that whole issue has been on the backburner for a long time. Sometimes I still wonder if he's done it again, but for the most part I try to thought stop.
If he has done it again, I know I'll sound like a coward, but I don't want to know.
I think we could work through it, it's just I have a lot on my plate right now. Don't want another issue!
I'm sorry I'm not being sociable and responding to your threads. I've been lurking all this week.
I'm so very nervous about my date tonight and keep telling myself to breathe...but my insides are all scrunched together and it's hard to take a deep breath.
He liked dinner, he loved his cheetos and macadamia nuts...his favorites! Loves munching on those.
We had some really great intense talks.
We slept in the same bed together and he held me throughout the night.
He says he wants to wait on sex until we are living together again. That it's too emotional and isn't ready for it yet. So, no hanky panky yet!
I peeked through his Divorce Remedy book and saw that he had read through the section on depression and MLC based on the dog eared pages. Not a SINGLE dog ear in the infidelity chapter! That was the only snooping I did. I had a few opportunities to snoop in his wallet and his suitcase, and I didn't!!! I felt a little twinge, but it wasn't that hard. I'm becoming a better person!
I promised him I'd respect his privacy.
He talked about his one major problem with us was my mis-handling money.
I showed him my budget and talked to him about how much I had learned from my dad. My dad is a tax attorney who just this past year became a bankruptcy attorney...he's taught me tons.
My husband asked me to teach him what I've learned when we start living together!
At one point, his roomate, Karensa called. Said my monkey's cat, Sheen, who was originally my cat, (but she loved monkey, so I gave her to him when we seperated) was really sick. Karensa sounded hysterical and like she was crying. I panicked because I still love and miss Sheen.
When my monkey picked up the phone to speak to his roomate, she laughed and said Sheen was fine.
He hung up in anger and I exploded.
I told him that was very cruel. He agreed with me, and comforted me while I cried. He said he thought his roomates did it because they didn't want him to move out. And he was really angry and said, "I'm definately moving out now!"
So, I had a chance to release all my emotions from our talk, he had the change to comfort me. And his roomates have become the persuers, pushing him away!
He left Saturday afternoon. He emailed me Sunday. He said, "I enjoyed spending time with you this weekend! Also I am looking forward to our "new" marriage, I also dropped my mom a note telling her I am looking for a job in *your town* and plan to move back in with you and make it work! hehe."
The fact that he's told him mom, updated his resume means this is really going to happen!
I thought of something else I wanted to share with y'all.
My monkey told me again, that he knows I love him more than anyone else loves him, that he's abused my love and that he has been thinking that he could delay making a decision...but realized that he could lose me by the time he decides that he wants me after all.
He also mentioned that he had no fear of losing me to another cause he knows how much I love him. So, my fears about my EA bothering him were groundless.
What a relief to know...and thank goodness I didn't bring it up!
