Just thinking of you today, hope your headache goes away. I had one so awful last week I got physically sick...I know they stink!
I can feel the frustration in your posts. Why the heck isn't he DOING something to show you that you are his prize, his special 'one'? I hear it and I can clearly see why you feel that way; doing the same weekend schedule that you did all the while you were separated doesn't feel like anything is changing...
What would happen if you told him you wanted to spend time together? I know you don't want to have to take the lead, I just wonder if he specifically said he wanted to be alone with the kids, or if there is a way to spend time together........
Hope you feel better and I agree w/ Ali that more communication is what is needed. I hope the MC can help you to kick-start that process.
Also, I think Jeff is spot on in saying H will be slow at first b/c he is scared. Do your best to allow for patience right now b/c that is what is needed.
Hang in there and limit your expectations a bit and just let things happen. Time and patience are your keys right now.
The therapist called and said we should NOT try to do it on our own, that it is a good thing we are taking it slow.
She said things like "yeah, sure couples could reconcile but it takes a lot of work etc etc." She gave me an appointment for next Wed either 6 or 7 o'clock. So i called H and told him. He said sure lets do it, I want to too, fine etc etc.
When I said about Wed he said "oh crap, its the game that night, Greece vs Italy (John!!!). I told him if we dont do it we would have to wait for the week after. He said no, no, I can make it if you arrange it for 6. So, we are going to therapy. She said there are a lot of things we need to be open about and it needs commitment from both of us. She asked if cheating was involved and I said maybe and she said then that is probably the reason you feel numb because you are angry...
Well, it's the first time I feel excited about something. Mostly because I think the "truth" will shine and I will know if this can work or not... K
Getting the therapy appointment is great news. Also, the fact that H will make sure to be there despite having a game that night is equally big on his part.
I'm glad the MC called you back and told you that you needed to not try and do this alone.
Good for you. She also validated that the pace needs to be very, very slow, so maybe that can help to ease your restlessness.
Have a great night and thank you for your kind wishes on my thread. I'll reply to you as soon as I can (I'm running out of here to pick up my D from school).
Thats amazing, I remember he wouldnt go before? Didn't he used to talk to the kids T a bit when he took them there, but then didnt want to do his exercises!? This is a change in him then, that hee is willing to try.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Kalni, I'm so glad H has agreed to go to MC and that you have an appointment set up for next week. I know from my own sitch that it is so very difficult to do it on your own. I feel like we keep going around in circles and that we're also at an impasse but MC right now is out of the question because of the physical distance between us. You definitely need help from a MC to get your marriage back on track. It's a good sign this has made you excited.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
