Hey PNT. One thing I realized with my W and why she has lied, or in some cases, has not told me the whole truth, is because she's afraid of my reaction. So, in the past I'd react in a way that would "tell" her not to communicate certain things to me. So, although somewhat cowardly (a harsh word, I know) and self-serving on her part, I can understand why she wouldn't want to tell be totally honest (I used to be quite judgemental).
Sounds like you are getting better with this, but, for me, I come back to the phrase, "make it easy for her to tell me things." Of course, you'd have to substitute the "her" for "him." And, in some cases, you'll have to bite your tongue, be very patient and just listen.
