You may need to go to a MC to both learn how to do this. Oftentimes couples do have trouble with this because a S is afraid to share their thoughts thinking the other will get angry or defensive (which is a very natural reaction). I'm sure there are things you don't tell her because you feel this way, but would have an easier time telling to others (like us here on the DB forum!).
Great communication skills is not an instinct, it's something you have to learn. Find a MC that can help you both develop this.
Don't tell me you can't afford this... Even if you only go 12 times a year (once a month), that's cheaper then a D. Tell the MC your main goal is to develop good communication with your W. Whether your marriage survives or not, developing this will be helpful with any relationship.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
