Things are settling down...not sure that's good!

[Amy M]

So, truly horrible morning. But, I'm okay. I guess sometimes things just don't go your way. You pick yourself up and you move ahead, right?

H showed this morning to pick out S6's birthday gift from the stuff S6 circled in the catalog. H smelled like alcohol...you know, the after an all night drinking smell? So, I commented, and it went downhill from there. He had the boys last night...and, he claims he had 1 drink to help him sleep. You don't get that smell from 1 drink!!! I've had experience with that!

In fact, before it was over, I even offered to draft the settlement agreement for him. I don't know that I will, but wow...it's the first time I've gone down that path.

H just goes from friendly to cold as ice so frequently that I can't keep up. And, the friendly makes the cold as ice unexpected and so hurtful. I do have to just stop interacting. Football season's nearly over, and if we can get through the holidays, I won't have to see him anymore for a while. He did finally tell me that he kept clothes at his house for the boys so hopefully that means he'll stop coming by here during the week.

He talked about getting a new place to live cause his rent's just too high. I know where that's likely going. But, what can I do? I don't want my children exposed to her, but I can't stop it.

Maybe I should just do the settlement for him and get this thing moving along. But, I'm pretty sure God doesn't want that either.

So, here I am...terrible sinus headache...tons of work to do...no motivation to do it...with an H possibly on his way to alcoholism and living with skanky OW. He did talk about increasing his life insurance today to make sure the boys are cared for in case something happens to him. He's really gotten strange. I asked, "Are you okay?" He said, "Yea. Life insurance doesn't pay in cases of suicide." What's that about???

I told him that his life ins. plus the business assets he discussed on Tuesday would be more than adequate to take care of the boys. He responded with, "But, what if the business tanks? I just think I need more life insurance." I just said, "Okay."

The most frustrating part is that he's not the man I married. And, I can't seem to remember that all the time. So, I do expect that sometimes he'll be normal when I see him. I'm so thrown for a loop when he's not.

Apparently, I'm not detached at all...thought I was doing great. And, I guess I am as long as he plays nice. When he's an A$*, I get upset all over again. I want some explanation for all this mess. And, he can't/won't give me one.

I came home to get some headache medicine and eat some soup. Got to head back to the office.

Hope everyone else is doing okay!!!

Love you all!
Amy