My Crazy mess, these are the days of my life!

[christarn]

Thanks VS....Isn't it nice yet kind of crazy that just having some one else tell you...you can do this, can make all the difference!!!

You and I will be just fine!!!

Thanks!!! I need to know someone out there gets "this"!!! LOL

christa

[Very Scared 54]

I guess you have to walk in someone's else shoes to understand.

Once again you are right...... thank you for having a friendly ear.

We will keep other strong and on the course/track.

((((((Christa))))))
VS

[christarn]

(((VS)))

I am trying to finish up homework...blekkkk!!! I am ready for winter break! I have to take the GRE during break...yikes!

anywho, no prob for the ear!! anytime my friend, anytime!!!

I am having a hard time focusing on homework...trying to get my game plann together for tomorrow. Need to shoot par on this one....so i can celebrate with the H afterward!!! LOL!!! meaning hopefully he will go for the beer idea!

hope all is well in TX! it's cold and dreary in IL

christa

[Very Scared 54]

((Christa))

The weather is rainy and mild, but it cleaning off for the weekend. It is going to be a great weekend to ride, so I think I will go riding.

You know I have been a little down today. You have helped me bring up my sprits up. I guess I am coming down off a Happy High. The last two weekends with W has been so great for the two of us it's hard to realize my sitch is not over. But I guess it like eating your favorite food and not having any more. So you miss it.

I am missing contact with W. I know I need to give her space and time to think. I just do not want to quit. I will have another weekend with her next week and the 4 day Thanksgiving holiday. It is just hard to wait.

I hope that tomorrow works as you have planned. I hope that you can get the same feeling I have had the past two weeks. If you do you will be energized. If not you will try again.

(((((((Christa))))))

VS

[christarn]

VS~ I understand where you are coming from. I have talked to H a few days the past week, and it makes me want to pick up the phone and call him every time i turn around. It's frustrating not being able to do so. I can feel your frustration.

I am hoping C is not as intense this week. I am hoping we can start to move towards issues to move us in a positive direction. It is difficult being reminded of the mean angry monster i used to be. I am ready to show him the new me!!! And begin chatting about the future!

keep your spirits up! I will do the same! There is a cold beer waiting for me with the H at the end!<-----me being positive!

(((VS)))
Christa

[Very Scared 54]

Christa

If you get to have that beer with H you may want to have 2 of them.

I know how hard it is to set in front of some stranger and tell them the private details of your life. It seems when you start your story you wind up talking about all of your bad things you did and are. Then you start to feel so guilty and that everything that happened in your M was your entire fault. In reality it takes two to tango and you find you are not totally at fault, but you still feel real bad. You taught your S how to treat you. Your S is not without fault. But still you are the one that is working on the problems and issues that created your sitch. You feel all alone in this task, because your S either does not feel that it is their fault or they do not have the problem. C is hard on every one. It is hard for a man to admit that he is wrong and if he does its hard for him to take the action necessary need to change. BUT IT CAN HAPPEN I am the prefect example. I recognized my weakness and work on them to the point that I have made a person that I like in me. I like it him so much that I want to continue to work, improve and be better. Some of my weakness will take my attention for the rest of my life. C/MC is worth the time and effort to gain a second chance at a NEW HAPPIER life in a R/M.

I guess what I am trying to say is C is worth it and if both of you work hard you can achieve the happiness. It has been a very long time since I feel as happy as I do today with myself and even happier with my W.

W just called and we talked for about 20 minutes. Did I say that she called me? She is planning to come home next Friday and watch a movie with me on the couch. she plan on spending the weekend. That is another chance for me to show how much I have change for the better.

Keep swing away. Take a good tight grip and swing away. I have a feeling that you are going to make Par on this hole Thursday night. PMA

I am here when ever you need a friendly ear.

((((((Christa)))))

VS

[christarn]

H cancelled

[Very Scared 54]

WHY?

[christarn]

he is an arss!!!!!!!!

he says he is done

done with MC, done with all of this and he has been since the day i walked out.

says he has an ulcer from worrying too much

[christarn]

he says my true colors are showing...it's my way or the highway

he says he can't forgive me everything is my fault...including the fact he has an ulcer and there was no meds. in the cabinet this morning....WTF???

I offered to bring him meds he declined

not sure what is going on

he is a jeckyl and hide