IMHO, I would say something to him about him texting the ow in my house. You need a some boundries when it comes to that. Don't let him disrespect you in your own home and in front of your kids. My h did that to, but called the ow several times in my house. My C told me to tell him that I would appreciate it if he would do that out of my presence and not in my home. She also said that if he couldn't respect my wishes he didn't need to come over. My h was a little peeved but it stopped right there.
Do what you think is right when it comes to Thanksgiving for you and your kids. Make a small dinner for you all and start new traditions. That is what kept me sane during the holidays!!!!
