What if?

[mishka422]

Ahhhh.....memories of my head bangin' youth!

[marriedCrazy]

So did you wear a dress and lipstick... big time? LOL. What did the cute, single teacher think of that?

LOL....No LE I decided not to let my D dress me today.

I thought about telling her that I sleep naked, though.

[Molly44]

In conclusion, just so everyone knows; I'm not mad or upset.

Phew... just wondered if it was an idea thatyou may not of explored. Consider subject dropped.

[Babygirl]

omg Tom lol!! what a pick up line.........

[marriedCrazy]

Last night was pretty much a non-event. The W did come home right after work. She didn't go do her usual Wed. night out at a bar that one of my co-worker's brother owns. My co-worker asked me if I wanted any copies of the video from the bar. Tempting; but I don't think that I could use it for anything since I live in a no fault state.

It was about 9:50pm when she got home and she had D ask me if it was alright if she stayed up and watched TV with mommy? D was excited to see Mommy last night. I told D that no, she had a hard time getting up in the prior morning; so she needed to go to sleep. There would be more chances to watch TV with mommy. D was little upset with me; but she'll get over it. I walked into the living room and told the W that I only put D in the bed because she needs to keep a schedule. Just because you choose to irregularly come home and get the kids excited; doesn't mean that they need to live THEIR life according to your schedule. She said that she understood and I noticed that the W had been crying.

We had a convo about all the maintenance that needs to be performed on her car. It's way behind on its scheduled maintenance. She asked about how much money she's looking at; I told her about $600 for the pulley and timing belt replacement; and about $45 for the oil change.

We talked briefly about the funeral that I went to today and about her nephew's 1st BD party that she isn't going to. I'm taking the kids at the request of my SIL and will enjoy myself without her.

So what did I accomplish? One of my goals is to see her stop going out everynight, especially to bars. I don't know if this is going to be her new routine; but at least it was ONE Wed. night at home in a long time. I kept up my PMA last night. I made myself unavailable during most the time that we were awake together. She slept on the couch. I was engaged in a texting convo with a friend from PHX (shut up Amy. I'm being good, I swear!). My 180 last night was standing firm agains the W's wishes that just because she was home and would take D to daycare this morning; I made my D stay on her schedule.

And to top it all off; I didn't really experience any anxiety with her presence in the house. That's a first.

NO EXPECTATIONS....

[jame38]

great job tom, u did very well!

[Amy M]

I second that! Even if you were txting with PHX girl!!! Just be careful there. Don't let that become a pattern...it will only confuse the issue more. And, you don't need more confusion!!!

Sorry about a funeral...those are always tough. Hope that went okay.

Have a good afternoon, Tom.

Hugs!
Amy

[Babygirl]

you did good!! heheheh got a text friend do ya? I got your email, thank you!!
hugs

[marriedCrazy]

Just so y'all know; our whole texting convo consisted of how she's helping get the right medical attention for her newborn; how she's saving a bunch of money with some program called Couponsense. I'm a cheap bas#$rd; so I'm really interested in that. We also talked about how to keep a M from becoming a child centered marriage; seems that they are having some issues with that. She doesn't know anything about my sitch; nor does she need to know. But I did give her some info to the effect that I am trying to recover my identity which I lost to my M.

Trying to keep the convo above board.

But just to have the activity for my W to see that I'm not standing around waiting for her is priceless in my mind. Part of my GAL. The W always said that she wished that I had friends that I could text and hang out with. Guys don't have texting convos with other guys in my experience; so I've got guy friends to hang out with and couple of other types to text back and forth to. All this is also a 180; because I used to feel that I have my W; what do I need with all that social activity. Well, I do NEED it and WANT it now. It's liberating and probably one of the best things my W has done for me. I haven't told her yet; but at the right time I will.

[Babygirl]

hey i was reading a bit ago, about hard hearted people, I think your wife is. from her whole life, before you, there was this scripture with it............it describes quite a few spouses we have to deal with on these boards actually

Hardhearted people are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. (Eph. 4:17-19)