II don't know really what I am asking here... I just wondered if it is normal for the WAS to be so avoidant? Whether this non-communication etc is typical? And do they ever own up?
Thanks in advance for all your comments.
Hi JCJ! Welcome! I think this is a great forum myself, really wonderful, knowledgeable friends here! Have you read Divorce Remedy yet? I highly recommend doing that if you haven't already. And the boards here are a great source of info; reading other people's threads you find a lot of similarities (almost amazingly so) and from those you can learn what to do (and sometimes what not to do).
Sounds like you are doing a good job. I think you should stop initiating at all and "go dark". Respond to some of the emails, just ones that are necessary, no chatty ones. Business, polite, distantly friendly. Someone posted once on my thread (think it was Kat) treat him like the mailman, and I like that analogy.
Yes, I think it is normal for them to be avoidant, although sometimes my H will suddenly fire off a dozen emails to me too. Wacky and can't figure them out much, illogical, etc. I think when they are deep in A's and "the fog" some people call it that there isn't much you can do really.
My H still is in the fog, think probably an MLC as well as his A. I've heard from others that they do come out of the fog, and they have a great thread in MLC about that (the six stages of MLC) that says it is a process. I think most do, but many times the M is over by then. It's a sad thing. A close family member of mine was doing the MLC/Affair thing 6 or 7 years ago, moved out but then they did reconcile for the past 5 or 6 years, and I've heard of others also. There was a couple in my small town that got divorced a year or 2 ago (the H was having an A) and they recently remarried. So I guess sometimes you can reconcile, and sometimes you don't. Karen
