So to recap, I have just sent my h an email saying that I know he is not living alone in his new flat and have yet to hear back from him.
It is a rollercoaster isn't it? I feel I have been pretty stable in my emotions of late but I have sort of crashed today. I am so tired of it. I don't know why I have any expectations of a response really; it would be a first if I get one. I have had nothing all year really. I know I have to give it time but in a way I am dreading that email popping into my inbox. I just don't want it anymore.
I am feeling sort of empty today and quite down in general. I am sick of this really and not at all sure I love him anymore. I want to start my new life now and get on with things as it is pretty clear that he isn't coming back. The decision to move in with this ow wasn't taken quickly; the relationship has had a chance to develop. I thought I was doing a good job in backing off and giving him space but it has just given him space to develop another relationship, although I don't see what else I could have done.
Ok, I know there is so much assuming in there. It is so annoying that I have to continue to wait for him, wait for his response etc. I think this may be my last thread in Separated. I think after this I may move to surviving. I'm 27, I want to live my life now and stop hanging around in this horrible limbo.
This is horrible and painful and I hate that I have a failed marriage behind me and that the man I married and trusted chose to follow this path.
Ok, I've crashed today haven't? Picking myself up by my bootstraps. I have knitting tonight so maybe that will help!
