Doing what got me this far.

[steady]

It's funny Tim - You, nds and I haven't update in a while and we all did today.(well nds did yesterday)

At home things seem to continue on at a snails pace. W and I have very nice conversations about work, the kids, the house and things that we would like to do. I make sure that I look at her and listen intently to what she is saying. I try and ask relevant questions and when she brings something up the next day I make comments on the subject that show her I was listening and remember what she was talking about the day or so before. If she has a bad day or is frustrated with stuff that is going on I listen but do not try and fix. I keep my mouth shut unless she asks for my opinion on what she should do.

All good here Tim. That focus on listening really means alot to our W's. It shows we are paying attention. I also focus on the detailed listening, the questions, the ability to talk about the next days etc..

I continue to do my fare share of the household chores making sure that they are done without her needing to ask me. We do have our moments when we seem to connect really well. I let her initiate most of the physical stuff most of which happens early in the morning. She still does not come to bed till well after I have gone but I accept this for now hoping that eventually she will change this.

Good on the household stuff - shows consistent action. And we both know the importance of that. Letting her lead on the physical stuff - well, you don't need me to tell you. I've been doing that also, but last night when my W was giving me a kiss and hug goodnight I did pull her onto the bed and she layed her head on my chest. This was the first time I initiated something physical. Figured I'd take a shot at it and see what happens. It worked out well and she even remarked this morning how nice it was.

I had my last IC session last Thursday. The C and I decided that I am pretty well centered and doing the best that I can. She felt that unless my W decides to start coming to work on our communication skills or how she is actually feeling about the progress of our R that I did not need to make another appointment. She said that I could call and make one anytime I felt like the frustration of my sitch was getting too much and I needed someone to talk to.

When I go past a week or two I need to decompress so I usually schedule an IC meeting. It's hard not knowing where things stand and that pressure builds up and I get to release it in IC.

I put most of my effort while at home being the best person, dad, husband I can be and enjoying the peace and calm that it brings.

Exactly where your focus needs to be.

It's funny Tim how we've remarked the similarities in our sitch's. The only real difference is I have the benefit of going to MC with my W. It makes a big difference and I feel grateful that I have that. The MC allows us to work on issues that would never be addressed without the sessions.

I'm glad you're doing well.