Hello all...it has been a real long time since I have been on here for myself. I did post to a couple of people in the last few months but they were short.
I had to leave to find myself. It really worked also.
Ok, for those who don't know me, I am 41 yrs. old, my STBXH is 38 yrs. old. We have 2 beautiful daughters (15 & 17). If we stayed married, it will be 20 years in June. We have been separated for almost 4 years. Now it is finally divorce time. I gave it my all.
I really did try over the last 4 years. It just wasn't meant to be. I have finally decided it is time to finalize this and get it over with. I think I shocked my STBXH because I agreed to it. Normally I cry and protest. Not anymore. I am at a place in my life where I am ready to let go.
A friend of mine told me I would know when it was time to let go and not to listen to anyone else or rush it. I'm glad I took her advice. I am prepared for this now. I am not the scared, upset little girl that came here about 4 years ago. I have turned into a strong woman over this time. I feel good. I am even getting off my anti-depressants (with the doctors approval and help of course).
I want to tell everyone to hang in there as long as you can. You never know what may happen. Don't give up until you are ready. All situations are different and what works for one may not work for the other.
My STBXH and I are on friendly terms. We still talk on the phone and help each other out when we can. This is something I want. We share 2 children and I want their life to be good ones. Not full of fighting or their parents not being able to be in the same room with each other.
Believe it or not, I AM THE ONE WHO FILED FOR DIVORCE. He and I discussed it and we agreed on all the terms so, I wrote up the papers and have taken them to a lawyer to go over and make sure everything is done correctly. Hopefully everything will be done and I can start the new year out fresh.
Now, onto my good news. I met someone that I have really enjoyed their company. (Before you ask, this is not the reason I decided to go ahead with the divorce, that was started long before I met this guy). It is more like a childhood friend came back into my life. I have known this guy for my whole life. He was my neighbor growing up. Great guy. Very nice and polite. Treats me like a princess. Very understanding about everything and willing to wait until I have everything done before proceeding further with our relationship.
He has made me feel whole again. Whether things work out with me and him or not, I now know I am worthy and can still have a future that doesn't involve me sitting home alone collecting cats. LOL!!!! I just take it one day at a time.
It took me all these years and many friends to get to this peaceful place and I appreciate each and every one of them. If I haven't talked to some of you from the boards recently, I have still thought of you often. If it weren't for the people I met on here, I would not be where I am now.
Thank you all for everything you have done for me. I just wanted to update everyone and let them know I am ok and living life again. I haven't fallen off the face of the earth as some of you may have thought.
I wake up each morning with a smile on my face and am ready to begin the day unlike before when I had to drag myself out of bed and prayed for 5:00 to get there.
Again, thank you to everyone who helped me. Just remember, there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you just have to find the right rainbow!!!!
Thank you so much for coming back and posting this. It is reassuring to know there is life and happiness after. It sounds like you are doing really well and are happy. That is really good.
Yes JCJ, I am doing great. I didn't think there was life after my STBXH left.
It is hardest on the kids. I gave my STBXH 4 years to wake up and come home and now that I have let go, the kids blame me. I take it in stride though. It is hard for them. They had hope as I did and I guess with going ahead with the divorce, it makes it more real to them.
Plus, they have had me to themselves the last 4 years and now that I have met someone, they are afraid I won't be there for them. WRONG...my kids come first. I am taking things slow.
T2)))))))))))))))) look at you!! i'm soo so glad you've found yourself and peace regardless))) I've also found peace, didnt' work out with stbx but it worked out for me, I'm a happier person.
I'm sadden to think that your kids blame you, why? dont' they know what really happened? they are old enough, just because you are filing? I guess all too often we think of parents as just dad, parents, not normal human beings who want company, be loved, have own choices.
You are a success story and I'm glad you came back to post it, hugs))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Glad to hear you are a happier person. I think we all just need to come to our own terms at our own pace. I am much happier. Almost of my anti-depressants and feeling great.
There is so much life out there that I let slide by and now I am going to play catch up!!
My kids will get over it. They know I did everything in my power to save my marriage.
They have had a hard time accepting that their father starting dating and now that I am, double whammy. They will be fine. I talk with them about things and tell them their opionion means something to me. I will listen to what they have to say. My youngest is already accepting and is almost ready to meet my new special friend. I am leaving it up to them on when they are ready for the next step.
Going out tonight and can't wait. I feel like a 16 year old again. I think what helps is that I already know the guy and he is very nice. I get butterflies in my stomach when I talk to him. Much better than feeling sick and walking on eggshells with the stbx.
Even though I couldn't save my marriage, you are right...I am a success story. I have found myself again.
Thanks for posting!!!! Everyone on here means so much to me.
OMG!!! Talk about a ghost from the past. I'm glad you posted.
How are you doing?
If you still have my email, send me one and update me on what you have been up to. I had a computer mishap a while back and lost a lot of my emails. If not, let me know and I will get it to you somehow.
