Have not updated in a while and someone on another thread asked me to.
I have been swamped at work the last couple of weeks. If I have not mentioned it before I started an electrical contracting company with another person about six months ago. I have lots of stuff to bid plus designing jobs, getting jobs started and making sure our field workers get the material they need. It’s an overwhelming task at times to say the least. But it’s a lot better than where I use to work.
At home things seem to continue on at a snails pace. W and I have very nice conversations about work, the kids, the house and things that we would like to do. I make sure that I look at her and listen intently to what she is saying. I try and ask relevant questions and when she brings something up the next day I make comments on the subject that show her I was listening and remember what she was talking about the day or so before. If she has a bad day or is frustrated with stuff that is going on I listen but do not try and fix. I keep my mouth shut unless she asks for my opinion on what she should do.
I am a HS Swim Official and this is the start of our season. I have many meetings I attend each month now for swimming and HS swim meets start in a couple of weeks so I will be officiating a lot of them. Combine that with all the age group swim meets my kids are in and I will be very busy until the end of February.
I continue to do my fare share of the household chores making sure that they are done without her needing to ask me. We do have our moments when we seem to connect really well. I let her initiate most of the physical stuff most of which happens early in the morning. She still does not come to bed till well after I have gone but I accept this for now hoping that eventually she will change this.
I had my last IC session last Thursday. The C and I decided that I am pretty well centered and doing the best that I can. She felt that unless my W decides to start coming to work on our communication skills or how she is actually feeling about the progress of our R that I did not need to make another appointment. She said that I could call and make one anytime I felt like the frustration of my sitch was getting too much and I needed someone to talk to.
Nothing really out of the ordinary is happening. No drama just everyday normal stuff. I put most of my effort while at home being the best person, dad, husband I can be and enjoying the peace and calm that it brings. I let my kids have all the drama now with all this school/ social stuff teenagers deal with. I stay out of most of it and just listen and give a little nudge if I think they need it. Other than that its their responsibility to make the right choice for them.
I still think about asking her if she is going to IC or if she would like to go to MC but I have not done it yet. Hopefully sometime soon she will want to go. I still feel if she would just go to a C that we would be able to solve most of our remaining issues and move on with our lives. Again until we learn how to communicate our feelings and needs to each other without either of us being on edge its going to be a very slow process from here on out.
