What I needed from my husband following his A was lots of love and reassurance. I needed him to be very level about things and to be able to take my ups and downs. I needed him to answer my questions openly and honestly. I needed him to help me understand WHY he had felt the need to go outside the M, so that I could work out whether or not it would happen again.
He needed me to understand why it had happened and for us both to own our own share of the M breakdown that led to him having the A. I did.
My H managed to get me to understand fairly early on that the A had been a disaster.....a measure of his desperation really.
Can you give us some more details? Like how long you have been M'd in total? How old your children are? It helps put things in perspective.
There are other people on here who are struggling with a similar sitch to you. Try finding them and posting to them so you can support one another and bounce ideas off one another. I am not sure but I think Mof3 might fit that bill.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
