just journaling...saw h at church..I know he was busy running around..but he seems distance..has since last week when he came and hung blind(day before our anniv).hmmmm is he sad, guilty..trying to let me down the only way he knows..avoid me..not talk to me..is he contemplating that this year is almost up?????????????????who knows....I have to remember it is about him and not me..yet something is eating away at me.......I feel sometimes as I reflect on little things he said before he moved that he is hurt and angry with ME because I doubted his friendship with ff, that I made comments that he is "like his father"..I did not mean that to be bad..that I had once said "I don't want our m to become like your parents"..these things are all surfacing back to me and I am not sure what to do about them.I feel hurt too, from what has happened..he told me when he moved that this is about him... I need to relax and take a breath.........when I feel like he's being "cool" then I automatically assume it's me..gotta let go of that...it helps no one.
