She will most likely try different angles in the days and weeks ahead. First, there's venom and spew. But she's learning you've learned to steel yourself in the face of that, and that it's not working.
So then she'll try "being nice." Be VERY wary of this one, because false starts and "crocodile tears" can be VERY hard to recognize, and I got fooled by this one once, despite being warned.
She may also try good old-fashioned PITY.
She's going to get increasingly desperate, and be all over the road. Just stick to your guns, lovingly detach, and be the best "Lost" you can be, esp. to your kids. Do NOT let her pull you down into her pit with her!!!
I have to raise the holiday with her. I am planning on doing that tonight - either a "think about it while S13 and I are gone" or " as I mentioned, I do not think we should be going given where things are at." It is actually friggin ridiculous she is even thinking about it.
Thoughts?
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
I don't like the former, as it puts HER In control of the decision. I think you need to continue leading the family at this point. The latter is OK, but I'd still rather see you leave the whole damned thing hanging while you're gone, with statement of "Looks like we both have some decisions to make while I'm gone."
(((Lost))) I like the way Pup said it. Don't give her control. Did OMW indicate what she has/hasn't said to him about his A with your W?
Hope you and DS have a good time.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Hi all. On the road with S13 - waiting for flight.
Just a brief update. W wasn't home when I got home from work yesterday. In fact I didn't see her at all yesterday. She went to D's soccer and I went to S13 hockey - but I had to leave early to go get D11 (she called me) to take her home and help her with homework.
D16 came home after soccer. We all went to bed and shut lights off. W rolled in at 12:10am.
Things are not good at OMW place. She contacted me 2x yesterday with more questions. Methinks this is the reason for W going into "hiding".
Fyi - nothing said between us since Tues night.
Will be on line later tonight, once we get to the "happy place".
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
This was to be expected Lost. My W didn't say anything for a couple days after I told OMW. But she would make up excuses to leave the house and you should have seen the cell phone bill for those days. There would be long calls to/from OM, they'd end the call and then about 2 minutes later another call to/from and so on.
I guarantee that right now things are not going well in lala land. And that's good for the home team.
Keep up what you're doing. It's working.
And enjoy your time away with your son.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
hey LIS sorry I missed you before you left. so glad you and son are on your way!!! please remember to send me some of that warm weather you promised!! be safe, have fun, hugs
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
