no expectations 9

[peacetoday]

Well the L told me to try to settle with H
so he came tonight and we had an opportunity to talk
I told him what I wanted
at first he got upset..but I have learned over these past 21 months how to talk and listen to him
It was nice to watch H calm down during our talk
he has alot of problems with my brother who works with him
My H can not find a real soultion to that problem
and
it really affects him
I suggested we could wait on D till H clears his mind and problem with my Brother
then H asked again what I wanted
so im not sure if he will go thriugh with D and how easy or hard the negotiations will be
I have to be careful b/c H and I connect emotionally after we talk and I get hooked back into thinking "we have possibilities" because we flow well
but the truth is
H is done..He likes our friendship
I dont ,mind being his friend if I can handle it and accept nothing else
that is the hard part
When we connect, I feel very close to him
he shared some deep stuff with me
then I forget I have to stay detached
he usually distances anyway after we connect
I still love him
I have to let him go and focus on me
peace