I know what you mean about feeling weak and afraid to take a step, so here is what I did. I started taking small steps towards putting myself into a position where I could "pull the trigger". First, I opened a PO box so that I could open a new individual bank account. Second, I opened the account. Then I started putting extra money into that account. I started looking around for places where I could move. Then... THE night happened and I knew that I could take no more. Next day I identified the place I was going to go. Day after that I signed a lease on that place and changed the direct deposit destination of my salary. Next came moving my stuff w/o letting the kids know, then SEP talk with kids, then actually moving out. Months later came Divorce...
With each step I gained confidence. The first few steps weren't big and didn't put me into a position where I couldn't change my mind. However, once I knew, the effort required to bring about the big change wasn't that big as I had already laid the ground work.
