So, H and I don't really pray together. We pray before meals together, otherwise we pray individually, he hasn't ever been comfortable with praying together...
T, I didn't mean that "carry our family on my back" quite the way it came out I guess. I consider my husband to be the leader of our household, my understanding of the Bible is that anything with two heads in not as nature intended. (Literally, anything with two heads is a monster) H knows that. In fact, at our wedding I wanted Ephesians 5 to be read, where it tells wives to submit to their husbands, and husbands to honor their wives.
My H was shocked by that, surprised that I would want such an "old-fashioned" verse. So we went with his first choice/my second choice, Corinthians (Love is patient, love is kind, etc). Maybe that should have been an indicator of trouble to come??
I have always expected/wanted my Husband to be the head of the home. I have wanted him to lead, and that is what is so disappointing in this whole thing, he is NOT leading us as a family and doing things like having Affairs is not being a model for his children of what a father/husband should be.
I consider what I do in terms of carrying the family to be different than "wearing the pants". For example, when my son was in the hospital for 3 days at 8 months old, I stayed at the hospital the entire time, day and night. I was not going to leave him. My H had to bring me clothes, I only went for food if H was there to "cover" for me. When they had to try 5 times to start an IV on S, H had to leave, he couldn't take it. I WANTED to be the one to help the nurses hold him down/comfort him. (Sounds twisted when I type it... )
Maybe it is a bit of a martyr complex, I have learned that about myself over the past two years. I will do anything for my family and I would rather be the one to make the sacrifices, etc. than to have H do it. I can admit that I have struggled with that need to be the martyr...
When I say I can carry the family on my back I guess to me it means my strength in God is strong, (H has often commented on how much faith I have when he has hardly any, same goes for hope)I trust in Him to get us through and I will 'tough up' and do what needs to be done to get through rough spots.
But in terms of trying to "run the show", that is not how I view my place in our M....sometimes H has said that is more of the problem, that I WANT him to lead too much...
