Well as promised I came by to read your thread so here's my two stinkin cents worth.
What struck me about your posts is that you seem to be pursuing (calling about movies, stuff like that) and that on the occassions that you see your H, I wonder if you don't come across "sad." NOT that all of that isn't perfectly normal, but I found with my H that when he is in his own painful funk...he sure as heck doesn't want to be around mine.
I saw tremendous changes in the way my H and I began to relate again just by NOT being sad all the time. Someone that's already bummed out doesn't want to be around anybody else that's in the same miserable place.
If your H isn't much of a movie buff, pick something different that you know HE'LL like.
My H has always owned a Harley, I always hated the damn thing. Well, when we began our 2nd reconciliation attempt I decided that despite the fact that I hate that damn bike I'd 'act as if' I'd like to try going for a ride.
Well he was shocked and one ride "date" led to another and another until all of a sudden he began planning day trips to things ONLY I would normally like.
We started out very tentative on "dates" with conversation being difficult but we now can talk about the most mundane things and we both try to 'act as if' we're interested in whatever it is we're talking about.
My H and I (with my initiation) have an occassional R talk (because I'm no longer afraid to say what I'm really thinking). They don't last long, they're pointed (addressing what ever is bugging me)and then they're over.
I made being around me easy for my H and he is beginning to make it easy to ask him what I need to know. Just a few short weeks ago it was STILL all about him, but the past few weeks I am finally seeing that for him, it's also now becoming about ME TOO.
Be his buddy for now. Whether that means attending a football game at your kid's university with him, or a quick cup of coffee after a church meeting. MAKE EVERY contact UPBEAT and CASUAL....NOT about your R or M. You have the rest of your lives together to work through the junk that got you two where you are today, so for now, go back to square one and 'act as if' you just met a guy you find attractive....you certainly wouldn't act sad and whiny around that guy now would ya?
Let go of being his wife for now, be his freind, and watch how things begin to change in YOUR favor.
