Trying2live-Post #4

[marisol35]

Hey everyone! I was off yesterday and spent it with my D16. We went shopping, had lunch, and visited my parents. My parents are renting an RV for Thanksgiving weekend and we all are going to Oklahoma. It will be a fun trip! I am looking forward to it.

Faith - your H sounds like he is seeing the light in the fog. Keep it up!

Hope - I feel for you and your desire to make contact. I want to contact my H every day but I fight it and try to occupy my time with other things.

ALL - I would be just as confused as you are!? H is definitely mixed up on his feelings. Keep GALing! That is what will keep you sane.

As for me......today I saw on OW myspace that she changed her profile pic to a halloween pic of my H and her. I was devistated. I had to close the door to my office until I composed myself. I sat here and just prayed. Prayed for him to come home and to stop this madness. I prayed for OW to disappear off the face of this planet. I prayed to not hurt anymore. I prayed that I would be ok no matter what.

T2L - I'm game for new years! I would drive down just let me know when!!!!

[hope3343]

Hi everyone, just came from the meeting with H. He looked bloated, eyes red, overweight. Maybe my rose colored glasses are off these days! I felt very confident especially after coming from my yoga class!
After meeting we walked out together and spent about 1/2 hour talking first about work and then H asked about D15. I told her about school, homework and never mentioned D15 not talking to him. H mentioned he missed her. I said nothing.
Then H says how he has gained so much weight and he says he is eating all junk and putting weight on (and drinking like a fish!). So I said but once you start to work out you always look great, you look fine to me (gag) (Admiration #2).

Then H says you look really good and really lost alot of weight. So I decided to use my feminine side (T2L -- your suggestion). I say yes I lost weight and I think the Yoga is really helping also with all the stretching and positions.

Then I drop a 180 -- I said it figures that now that I lost weight, learning all these new positions in Yoga and feeling good about myself that I have noone to screw around with since you left me and I laughed (t2l - your example).... H WAS SHOCKED (Sex #1). H starts to babble and says well you have been having people over so I said well not to boink them -- and said the only thing I would tell them is NO. H was floored since I never talk that directly. Then darn it one of his employees comes over and starts to talk to him. So i said well take care see you later and walk away.

So I go back to my desk and send a comment about a work project and add this...

Thanks for telling me about losing weight. I appreciate it coming from you. You know how I always struggled with that.

Hope I did not embarrass you too much on how "good" I was feeling and you not being around. I guess I must have been standing too close to you and my temperature went up...You still look fine to me! (smile) ;-)

I know he opened it and I did not expect a return e-mail. Don't know if H will show OW since I mentioned that he complimented me but if he does I know the claws will come out.

T2L -- so how did I do????

All, You have made great strides. Your H seems very passive agressive but I know he does not know how to take you. Keep that confidence up with GAL and then it will come into play with H.

Marisol, glad you are busy with family/friends. Keep it up. I do want to contact my H but I have been pretty strong this last week. It is coming up to about 5/6 months with H starting this A with OW so I am hoping soon they will start to see their bad sides. Sorry about seeing myspace picture but save it for atty just in case.

We all want our M restored and if it takes a month for each year of marriage (i read that somewhere) I still have a long long haul if I can keep H from D me in the future. Keep praying

[Trying2live]

Wow! I say do not pay attention to his rantings. He is putting off on you how he feels about his self.

I personally would laugh when he criticizes you let roll off like water off a ducks back. Sounds like he is trying to control you. Either you can allow it or not. Doesn't mean you don't want your marriage, but at what cost?

I mean really you laid on the bed, that is truly no big deal and he fault finding with you so he does not have to look at his self. Ignore it all!

I'm am loving the sound of that class. Very cool! Good for you!

[Trying2live]

Hope
{{Thud}} the sound of me hitting the floor! YESSSSSS! Standing ovation I like it girl! You did so fabulous! I'm so proud of you.

You did not talk R which is perfect, you did not talk about OW which is perfect, you did not try to be his conscience about D15, you were the epitome of confident, you dropped some of that feminine nature, you laughed, you met the admiration needs. I really think you did so splendid! And you walked away 1st....LOL BRAVO! I love the follow up email just the right amount of flirting for now. NO EXPECTATIONS ok. This will keep you safe. Expect to prolly not see much. It will be hard for H to accept the compliments as they usually feel like crap about them selves. Just keep going. Have you finished SAA?

You took control of your self in the emotional area-which tends to come out of the mouth LOL and executed a perfect Plan A(that's if you were in one).

Very Nice and I bet you feel so much more confident and strong don't you.

Keep it up do everything you did today. Keep it light, feminine, cheerful, try to find something to laugh at, control your emotions no talking about R or OW and do not be conscience about D16, walk away 1st or end convo 1st, meet EN per SAA.

Like it!

[marisol35]

Awesome Hope! APPLAUSE@!@##$$@#

T2L - So new years at your house?? LOL I need some of your words of wisdom T2L.....I have been thinking to send a letter to my H grandfather. His grandfather is the only man he has the utmost respect for and the one man he listens too. Would it be wrong to send a letter to him letting him know how much I want to save our marriage and what my feelings are and if anything could he talk to him. Would that be wrong? I would ask him to keep the letter just between him and I. What do you think? Is it too early?

[Trying2live]

Mariosl,
Well, In my humble opinion, exposure on any level helps break up the fantasy. Have you been able to get exposure on the OW's side as well?

When there is pressure from exposure it helps to not make this fantasy as fun as it started as and helps break it up, but expect him to be mad that's all normal. Mine was but I don't regret a thing for doing it. I told a few office girls, his whole family, my whole family and very close church friends and leaders since we are associate pastors there. Ok find me here for details about new years. No spaces. "its trying 2 live at G mail dot com" I don't think were allowed to share so that's why. LOL

[hope3343]

T2L, so I surprised you .. I surprised myself. Your right I won't see H, I probably scared him. I think that OW will start pushing H to get a D from me after the New Year, so I want to rock the boat a bit and see what happens. Those posters in her neighborhood are looking good! lol

Marisol, I think you should talk to his Grandfather -- does he live locally? If he has impact on H go for it. I would not ask him to intercede on your behalf just to talk to him, let him know you are still committed to the family and that H is having an A. So H gets mad at you. They all do. Good luck.