Hi Hoping - I'm catching up and realize that I had neglected to read your thread for a while - I'm sorry.
Some thoughts: (Please remember these come from the gal who has been sep two and one half years so they may not be worth much.
Quote: I thought about asking h to movie, but I will hold back..he may be doing these things becasue it is easier, as all the years past to go, rather than say no. I want him to make a move..even though I know that is not him, if I don't always ask..I could ask him if it is too much that I ask him to do things..if he would rather I don't...that would not be a full blown r talk..but might open things up for him.
I don't think H would go out with you "just because it is easier". Actually I think it is easier for these aliens to say "No"; makes them feel in control. I would think that if you ask and H does go out with you, it's because he really wants to be with you, albeit maybe just for the length of the movie or whatever. Just try to put on a good act, like you are not in pain or sad or wanting him to return right now. My H took me to the movies right after the bomb and I cried (!) in the movie and pursued R talk after. BIG MISTAKE - but then again I didn't know about DB.
Quote: It kills me to know if he is going to renew his lease..but I am not asking....
I went through this also - the waiting, the hoping. I hope for your sake H returns after lease is up. If he doesn't, don't give up, just go on as usual.
Quote: My real fantasy..and trust me I know it is not reality..is that on our anniv..he sends me flowers with a note that says "I would like to start over again" It is just something I wish could happen..I will not be waiting for the flowers or sad that it did not happen. Just a harmless wish!!!
Oh how I can empathize with this. I keep thinking maybe Christmas will be the time, but reality tells me that's just not so and I will go on as usual (unless I cave in first.)
HOPING, you are blessed with DD, church and pastor, redecorating and most importantly, those romance novels . Enjoy!
so they may not be worth much.
