Good evening Sue,
Taking more time from work for yourself! That very
Around here, the bus companies offer day trips to various regional activities, such as casinos, resorts, diner and a play in the "big" city, tourist attractions, etc... Would there be anything like that near you? My IL's started doing that when they retired and they want to travel some but didn't like to drive. They discovered there is a group of regulars that did many of these trips and became friends with them or perhaps you can get a friend to go with you?

I want to go back to an earlier post about your upcoming anniversary. LL posted a list of questions in hopes the answers might guide you on what to do. There was one question tho that perhaps you should ask H in order to know exactly what to do:

Quoting LL:
what do you want to do for the anniversary?


Quoting Sue:
... she got to thinking "who's looking after Sue, so she just wanted to hang out and get to know me better..
Again, start of by taking people at face value Sue. It a very compassionate gesture on her part. Even tho this board is a great meduim for support, I would welcome the oppurtunity for the possiblitly for as much face to face contact with people who could lend their support. Even if that support come in the form of a general friendship that doesn't get to deep personally. How personal you want to get is up to you. As with any friendship that needs to develop, start of with conversations of general views to get an understanding if her values are compatible with yours so you can determine if you will feel comfortable relating personal details.

Of course, you want to present to her the same "new" Sue that you would like H to see. Let her sense that while you may be uncertain on how things will turn out, that you know you will be OK. That you welcome additional support to group you turn to now.

You can look at this as an oppurtuntiy that she may fill the role of a mediator that may help bridge the gap that is between your H and you right now. You've mentioned a few time how you hold back from reaching out to H and I've hinted at this before, that I get the sense that the same may be true about H, therefore there's a possiblity that each of you are creating a distance between you that may have become unnecessary at this time. By having your Pastor know both POV's, she can determine for you if this is true and can place her in a position of bridging the gap between you so that you may move back towards each other.

'til later,
KAW