Sue - I agree with LL that you should have a card ready for H for your anniv. Nothing special, nothing schmaltzy - that has seemed to work out well for me since I have had to "celebrate" two anniv. this way.
I can relate to your fear that you have gotten so used to H not being there. But I think that H may have the same fears that you have. It's tough to be in this strange dance we're in (you, me, LL and a few others) - that it seems we're merely existing rather than living. But we'll all find our way. We have the tools and the support - just need to decipher those instructions and get to building something better.
