When THEY let go of US

[Nutty Chick]

Hi All,


I just wanted to write something about the MLC'ers letting us go. My daughters told me that daddy hardly ever talks about 'us' as a 'family' anymore...he used to tell them lots of stories of all we used to do, but he has stopped. He now only talks of himself and ow things. My kids have noticed, and they are sad about it. I think it is very obvious that H has let go of this life. Of 'our' life. It's tough to realize, but in my heart I think I knew...for a long time.

It is a difficult realisation .. although I can understand it. I can understand how they can walk out on us for OW / OM; after all, I almost did it myself. I can honestly say it is no reflection the person left behind .. …what I can’t even begin to comprehend at all is how they can walk out on their children….that I hope I will never understand. How can he talk to your D about the wonderful family memories …? He would make himself sound a hypocrite. It must hurt to remember the good times….and acknowledge that due to his choices there will be no more. He took that away from your children and he has to live with that everyday, of course he doesn’t want to remember and reflect on that ….

Will he be happy with ow? I don't know, on some level, I hope it will end, so that maybe there is a chance for him to at least realize what has happened. But I have a feeling that may not happen for a LONG time. Maybe never....

A relationship built on the ruins of a family can’t truly be happy. Resentment will set in. I firmly believe that. He will blame her for not living up to the person he thought she was and visa versa.

D9 cried again tonight. She was upset that her daddy didn't come to watch her at the hockey match. All I could do was comfort her, and tell her I love her.

That is so harsh, you must have felt so hurt for your daughter. I know myself I often feel like I have let my son down by my choice of father for him. But that just makes me more determined than ever to be the best possible mother I can. I can’t control my H actions but I can make sure the damage to my son is limited; and like you, I do.

Nutty